I’m an introvert and prefer to stay at home rather than going out. This means I have very few chances to meet people and form relationships. In the dating world, as a man, I have to be the one who approached and pursues women. That’s my role. If I don’t fulfil that role, I’ll be alone, like I have been. The thing is I am insanely shy, socially awkward and quite anxious in social situations which means asking a girl out is a huge deal. Add to that, that I have no self-confidence and that is critical, because as a man, I have to be confident in order to take the rejections that come with dating. It’s just a part of the deal.
I feel like there’s something wrong with me considering no one has ever liked me, at least not in a romantic sense. I must have a pretty undesirable personality. It’s also frustrating to see that something that comes so easy to the majority of men is damn near impossible to me.
At this point, I have become negative, cynical, jaded and jealous. Even if I do net someone who likes me, I’ll have the whole stigma of being a 26 year old virgin. I mean, what girl wants to date a guy like that? I have been working on accepting that I’m going to be alone forever, but it’s a hard road to travel.
I’m not really sure what to do at this point of my life. I want companionship…. badly, but that just reeks of desperation. Besides, I’m not sure why any girl would want me. There’s hasn’t been any indication in the past of any girl wanting to.
So, I guess if someone could guide me as to how to come to terms with being alone and being content with it, I'd appreciate it.
Most Helpful Girl
Find a real life wingman to help you out. Do you have female friends? Would it be easier for you to make one instead of finding a lover immediately? Since women really are the best wingmen.
Getting some confidence one way or another really is the only way to go. Maybe it helps to realise women aren't that different from men, you can approach them about the same (helped for me) or go out in a social setting with people you don't see in your everyday life, like a club, and step out of your comfort zone going up to random girls (worked for me too). The first few times, it might not go well. Doesn't matter, you're only doing it to practise. Don't assume making out or getting a date is the goal, having a conversation and makimg them think you're a nice person is a great place to start. Extra kudos if you can get a number of course.
Stepping out of your comfort zone in ways not hurtful to the life you already have, combined with learning not to care too much about unimportant or unchangable things, is the best way to build confidence I've ever tried.
Most Helpful Guy
i have never been with a women untill i was 30. there were a few that liked me but i didn´t like those.
sure it would be cool to be in a good relationship with a nice girl but why would you focus on what you don´t have and what you have no influence on. focus on the things in your life you can actually improve. this is how you find joy in life without having things you´d like to have.
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