Honestly why does this keep happening? Dating advice in college please?

It's like I meet a really nice guy in college and we'll talk and the vibes are there for a little bit but it's like he pulls away when I start making myself available to him? Like giving him my number etc. and it's just irritating. I dont go around making myself look desperate :/ I don't even say anything wrong. I'm a moderately cute thin college aged girl, I have great grades, I work... I really don't get why single guys my age would pull away when I started to show interest in being more than friends? It's seriously confusing. Like recently I met this guy in my engineering class, we talked, studied together, texted for a bit, and than by the end of the quarter he started treating me like an acquaintance all distant and he never asked me out when I kinda made it very easy for him to do so.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Does the university that you attend have the insane federally-imposed affirmative consent rule?
    If it does, no sane male who has an IQ north of two digits would have anything to do with any of the females there. It is simply too damgerous for the male.

    • No; there is no law rule saying anything about that in our handbook. I'm just clearly frustrated as I'm sick of attracting wishy washy guys who seem to be pretty interested in me at first (eye contact, acting nervous around me) pull back when I kinda give them the green light. I'm not even chasing them or saying anything wrong either... Bleh.

  • Guys in your age group are a little immature. Not only that, but college is kind of an artificial setting... meaning guys and girls in the same age group are all confined together. There's a lot of options for everyone... including you. It's not like that in the "real world."

    My advice to you is to not come off too needy or desperate (which I realize you already said you don't), however you also said you made it very easy for him to ask you out. Play hard to get, make it a challenge for guys to earn your attention. We enjoy the "chase" just as much as girls do. Overall, you seem like a nice girl, and you also mentioned that you're studying engineering... so i assume you're pretty smart. It's possible that guys might be intimidated by your intelligence.

    You're in college and you're still young, just enjoy yourself and meet as many people as you can... and have FUN. You have plenty of time after you graduate to start meeting someone serious. Good luck.

    • Yeah I made it easy by making myself available and trying to get to know them... Like dropping hints about doing something together and something outside of class >.< but they like act retarded and change the conversation? Yet prior to that they had this puppy love look in their eyes... but I'm definitely not about to chase a guy so I let it go and I let them pull back. I also pull back, because I want to be with a guy who makes me feel wanted you know? and thanks. I'm going for computer engineering and I work really hard in school. My grades are very important to me

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    • Like I was very desperate and needy with the last guy I liked so I know when I'm acting desperate... And I definitely wasn't bleh :/ like I never text first, always give them their space, if it looks like they don't want to talk I let it go, I won't respond too quickly, and in class i will usually keep things brief say hi and let things flow naturally... Like if we meet up after class it's up to him but I won't force any connections or make myself look very needy or like I have a huge crush on this guy I barely know

    • haha well like I said, guys your age are still pretty immature and get really nervous around girls they like. I used to be the same way... like 8-9 years ago. I would do similar things... just "test the waters" and see if she likes me or not. Then spend so much time screwing around that she would eventually lose interest haha. It sounds like you're playing your part perfectly. It's on him to make a move. He has to grow the balls.

      I've matured since then, and those guys will too. Now when I'm interested in a girl, I approach, start talking, and I make it brutally clear up front that it's game on haha. It's so easy, and now I look back in regret just thinking of all the missed opportunities I had back then. It's a big part of growing up as a guy...

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he's already dating someone else?

    • Yeah maybe I don't know

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