How do I meet more guys to date?

I would like to meet more guys that I could possibly date. I'm nice looking but I am shy when first meeting people. Also I do not approach guys when I see them in public. If I see a nice looking guy I don't say anything to him. I get nervous and I think that he would reject me if I said anything to him. So I watch them walk away. I notice that when I am out and about men do look at me but they never say anything to me. This makes it hard to meet guys because they do not speak to me and I don't walk up to them. I'm not sure why guys don't approch me? Maybe they are thinking the same thing as me that they would be rejected. Any tips on meeting more guys? Where can I meet more guys? I know they say that you should wait for love to find you but I think that in the meantime I could communicate with more guys and meet more guys. I just don't know where I could go to meet decent men and how to get over that shy feeling.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "They say you should wait for love to find you." That's like saying you should wait for a Bachelor's Degree to in applied Engineering to find you. Utterly ridiculous.

    As for tips, possibly meetup. com or some other form of connecting with other people to perform a hobby or activity you enjoy. When you share an interest with someone else, it makes it easier to connect. And being in an environment where you're forced to communicate, to some degree.

    I've experienced this in rehab several times. Kids I wouldn't have normally hung out with, or who wouldn't have hung out with me, became quite close simply due to our unsimilar similar circumstances. We were all stuck in the hospital with nowhere to go, nothing to do except talk and cooperate on various activities, spending all day together. That resulted in bonds being formed much more quickly than they would have ordinarily--or where no bond would have been formed, at all.

    So, if you can join some club or team, that would be one avenue. The main priority could be simply enjoyment of whatever activity, with the side effect of getting to know new people. New people = new connections = a wider social network possibly connecting you to potential partners. Most all of the relationships I've had have been formed through meeting my friend's friends who happened to have gone out with a different girl or had a friend girl/sister/cousin, etc. I think that really is the primary way people typically find relationships. So, meeting other people--male or female--leads to meeting other people--male and female. More people you meet, higher the chance.

    But. For any girl that's even of average appearance, online dating is--in effect--a grocery store. Bumble is one I recently discovered, but have no personal interest taking part in, which is like Tinder, except the males aren't allowed to send the first message. If you get inundated by shitty messages on other sites or apps, that or something similar might be a better alternative. Of course, people always talk about Tinder, so there's that. Though, that might be more of a hookup app from what I've heard. But, hook ups can lead to something longer term. Probably half of those looking to hook up are hoping for something longer.

    So, meetup. com, some club or team or group activity/forming new relationships with girls, Tinder/Bumble. Or you could take a chance and walk up to a guy.

    • Thank you, your input was very helpful. =) I might give meetup a try. I've tried a few online dating sites but people have just wanted sex on there and they lied about things such as their age and height. I never tried bumble but maybe I could try that one out, maybe. But I do think I could try meetup. com to do a hobby. And I think I could meet some new girls too. I actually would like to have a new girlfriend. Maybe if I do that then they will know other males as well =)

    • Np. Get a time-stamped photo to verify their appearance, if you do any online dating. Particularly if you're going to meet them IRL. That way you can verify general age, height, or that it's actually their face. Or I guess video chatting would work, as well.

      Like so:

      And yeah. They will, most likely. G'luck.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe try online dating. I am also rather shy and don't have much opportunity to meet people during my day but online dating let me come into contact with a lot of people I could talk to and meet. Do be aware that there are plenty of jerks online, just like anywhere else, but because of the sheer number of people you will probably meet a lot more than you are used to seeing in person. Just ignore them and don't take it to heart. There are still tons of great people you can connect with.

    • I've tried a few online sites and it just wasn't good for me. Most of the guys on there just wanted sex and lied about their age etc. =/

What Guys Said 1

  • Decent men are met in decent places. Shy feelings are overcome when you just stop that.

    • So I should just force myself to go up to a guy and ask to go get dinner with him no matter how much I stutter and sweat? lol

What Girls Said 1

  • At the gym! And they are super Hot there lol

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