How to recover from a terrible date?

This guy at first showed a lot of interest in me and today we went on a second date (first one was good). He initiated both dates. I liked him instantly and I thought I'm at least gonna get laid. The second date was terrible. We talked about many topics and that was alright, but he did EVERYTHING that you shouldn't do on a fucking date (even if you don't like a girl). He was often looking at his phone, sometimes cheking the time and sometimes TEXTING to someone. He would take a phone in a middle of a conversation and start texting, without an apolagy. And he would smile while texting (I'm 100% it was some girl). He didn't compliment me at all, didn't ask any questions, nada. He would bluntly check out girls passing and even making a comment about how they look. When I tried to bring the "us" topic he just shut, lift his eyebrow and didn't know what to answer, just changed the topic. He then said how he can't wait to get home to have his favorite meal because he is so hungry (I then said that I was hungry too and he didn't even invited me over). He was laughing all the time and seemed like he is having fun. I then had enough and I said I want to go home, and he even asked why and suggested to stay a bit longer haha. I'm actually really shy and I'm not good at arguing with someone I just met, I just wanted to get home as soon as possible and block this motherfucker. Can't believe I let him lead me on for 3 weeks! Why is this world full of fucking retards?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry, I know that was painful... you feel rejected. There must have been more time invested for you feel so strongly. 3 weeks of texting (if that is what it was) is bad. Texting creates a false bond that is not real and hurts like heck when it doesn't pan out. Don't trust it. Only trust face to face and over time. This is why it is wise to take things slowly even though your heart is racing...

    Develop some boundaries to protect yourself. You see what just happened to you... how much worse would this be if it went "all the way" and then you found out the answer? many times worse. Also... take time to heal from this inside. Don't carry around flaming arrows in your heart to the next person...

    It isn't clear how to read his behavior. He may have been playing with you trying to make you jeleous, but then he didn't push you further, so it doesn't make sense.
    He may have been trying to lower your self esteem, as part of a game he's playing to seduce you, but I don't see that clearly either.
    Maybe he was immature and just a rude and a jerk.

    your question of why the world is full of f@#$! retards is a deep one... there are reasons...

    But here's my last point... and this may hurt... and something for you to think about. you were attracted to him... ummm... that isn't good. What will you be attracted to next time? Is it possible you are drawn to the wrong kind of person? If so, get counseling to dig into why. People bond in the subconscious... something inside you drew you to him. Warning! Dating is learning about yourself so pause and ask what just happened and what you can learn about you. Fix that S#@t now before it leads to bigger problems. Develop (or maintain) your self esteem and confidence. Don't let a low life like that bring you down and learn to value someone who treats you well.

    That may not be fair. I just have a snippet you wrote to go on. Maybe it was just a bad apple and you will appreciate a quality guy that much more. There are lots of immature "bad" apples so get used to spitting things out!:)

    • This was the second guy who was bluntly being rude with me. Few months ago I went on a date with a guy who was constantly making fun of my job (video game tester) and telling me how I should lose weight! Like WTF I'm not even fat, I'm fit. They all seem so great at first and then they turn out to be idiots. I'm not gonna lie, I liked this guy mostly for his looks and I was initially looking for a hook up (I haven't had sex in awhile and I was fine with a one stand). And it's that I feel rejected, I feel INSULTED. If he didn't want anything with me he could've said it politely or ghost out.

    • If there is a pattern here, then consider being more up front with them on how you expect to be treated. Some guys are being "taught" to treat women like this and they may be "practicing" or playing. It sounds counter intuitive, but young women are often attracted to jerks because they give the appearance of strength. Its called "negging"... look it up. e. g. lower the womens self esteem so she is submissive.

      So be up front with them as it sounds like you have. My point about choosing better and looking inside yourself holds. I think that is how you get over this... your attracting some bad apples and trying to turn them into gold.

Most Helpful Girl



What Guys Said 2

  • It almost sounds as he did all of that on purpose because he doesn't want to brush you off, or doen't want to directly. You would be doing him a favor if you just cut all communication and move forward tbh

  • Enjoy. Have few more.


What Girls Said 1

  • Seriously, don't message him. There's nothing to come back from on your end. He is the one who screwed up, not you

    • Of course I'm not gonna message him! I just came back from that stupid date and already deleted him. I just feel so... arrghh pissed! I wanted to punch him in the face!

    • That's understandable but not all men are like him. Oh now I get your question. I may have had a blonde moment *duh, facepalm*

      I would say the best way to recover from it would 1. Something to blow off steam followed by 2. Something to pamper yourself and make you feel pretty and valuable again.

      Perhaps a long walk where you can say everything going you wish you had said in your head and then a hair cut, new outfit or long relaxing bath.

    • Or just laugh it off! :D Now I can't stop laughing ahahah