What do I have to do to get girls/women to talk to me on dating sites like tinder, pof... Etc?

I need some tips because this is frustrating... Like I'm not a dog trying just bone everything (well unless the right girl can make me feel like that) but I want to be able to start a conversation and be considered for a date...

I just don't get it, this just doesn't seem to work - I'm not even being that picky... It's only been a month for pof and a couple days for tinder but it feels very socially dead and it all lacks chemistry.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's hard to say. Different women will look for different things. I personally used to reply to everyone and see how the conversation went because I didn't like to judge on the profiles. My preference was also towards meeting as quickly as possible to avoid the whole "is there chemistry " situation.

    I could probably speculate on what you could improve in your profile or the messages you send out but you didn't give me anything to really go on...

    • I was making a general statement looking for basic pointers that I could apply to everyone... The online dating scene seems like bullshit.

    • Well I would say use pretty good grammar and spelling. I've never heard any girls say they wish their boyfriend was LESS intelligent.

      I think a lot of people judge more than they should on pics.

      I would include what you like to do for fun that could be a date (walks in the park, amusement parks, going to movies, or whatever)

      If you are hoping for something to eventually be long term then include things that show you have some financial stability. You don't need to make a lot, but do you work full time or are you in college for something?

      I personally always liked the mid length profiles. People who put like a few sentences fragments or left most their profile blank I didn't care for and if someone write a novel I really didn't have the time to read through it all. So enough that the girl can get a rough feel for you (surface level) but not super long profile.

      And try to spin everything in a positive light.

What Girls Said 3

  • It's not easy for us girls either. I've been using online dating sites and tinder for 3 months now. All I've been getting are hook up requests. Time and patience is the key. Showing and saying that you are a nice guy is not lame, when done correctly it give the impression that you are sweet and we like sweet guys.

    I personally hate it when in the first few messages being refered to babe, baby, sexy, beautiful etc... I also don't like tons of flattery or guys trying too hard. Just be yourself and act natural. I read the reply on shirtless pics. 1 or 2 is ok but I ignore those who's profile only show how built or hot they are. Show the goods but also show that there's more to you than a hot body.

    Don't be negative and take a break if you need to. I'm currently taking a break because I got fed up with all the lies the guys are feeding me. I actually called a guy out for only wanting to hook up. His response what that he really was interested and was not looking for a one night stand. I have him the benefit of the doubt and made it clear that if he was serious don't make any moves. When we met he did everything that I called him out on.

    • You have to deal with creeps... I have to deal with no responses, girls putting in no effort to maintain a conversation, the expectations of being the entertainer and destination selector for the date and a mountain of other bullshit that needs to be waned through...

      But I struggling to get past the 1st gate (maintain a conversation) because of one word responses or none at all. It's like "come on! can you at least try a little" and even then the convos go nowhere.

      I'd take dealing with creeps over feeling inadequate, unwanted, undesirable, ugly, and socially inept any day of the week. To me I view it like having overbearing & controlling parents vs being an orphan - yeah it sucks having parents like that but at least you'd have mom and dad.

    • I feel cheap, easy and not attractive enough to be taken seriously. But I don't let that get me down because I know I'm not and I have a lot more to offer than to be a quick and easy lay.

      As for parents don't even get me started. Yes having parents are better than none. But what happens when you know your parent loves you and you love them but what they did to you was unintentional but was considered emotional abuse? My mother has told me that I'm fat (stupid Asian standards) since I was 7, that I have no friends because I'm fat, I'm ugly because I'm fat and that I'll never find someone to love me as long as I'm fat just because she wanted me to loose weight. Yeah I was a mess growing up with all sorts of issues but I worked through them and got over it.

      Know your own self worth and who cares if they ignore you. If they give you one word answers then they are either not interested or playing hard to get on a level that's not acceptable. You deserve better!

    • I'd still rather be the one who gets to say yes or no than be the one giving out invites waiting.

  • Read over profiles fully and if you have a genuine interest in something from it message them on that topic.

    Basically like them for them not their looks. It takes longer but yields better results.

    • That's what I do and it still doesn't work...

    • Show All
    • You're a women it's a completely different ball game... It's been statistically proven that online dating is easier for women.

    • Here is just one example - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY8rzo4Ik4M

  • Good, flattering pictures of yourself. Including a pic of you smiling! Maybe a pic of you doing a hobby you like. Something to make conversation of.
    Have a good description of yourself. Don't say "I'm a nice guy" in a dating profile description. It's not interesting, and its something girls hear a lot from guys.
    And don't just say 'hi'. Have something more to say or even ask a question.

    • I don't say "hi" and would never describe myself as a nice guy because that is pathetic and lame... I ask random questions based of their profile and pics they have displayed.

      The only thing I can think of doing is maybe taking some better photos and describing myself differently... But even then it still feels like a failed enterprise.

What Guys Said 1

  • > be tall jacked athletic
    > Get shirtless, put war grease on, flex and take pic
    > get a big ass jar
    > collect pussies

    • I'm not tall, could be jacked... I might actually try that bs though.

      How often are you getting it from the online dating?

    • Show All
    • @funny_strange_man lol I am and how about I clear your doubt, Drop your Snapchat or kik lol

    • What is getting on kik going to prove

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