Why is it hard for a guy to give up his female friends for the love if his life?

Just a question out of curiosity, if a guy is in a committed long-term relationship and say for example the girlfriend doesn't like his female friend (s) why is it so hard for the guy to cut his friendship off with them? If another girl is his prioritiy then why is he in a relationship? If he can't cut off the female friend because his s/o doesn't like her does this mean the female friend is his priority? I mean if you truly love someone shouldn't you do anything for them? Just a question. Shouldn't guy friends and his loved one be enough? Why does a guy need female friends for if he's in a long term relationship? May as well stay single if another girl is a priority in compared to you partner. Any thoughts here?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Because if someone really loved him, they would never ask that of him.

    Asking someone to give up friends and social support networks is a manipulative thing to do that can do harm to your mental health over time.

    The idea that 'if you love me, you'll do anything for me' is a romantic fairytale, but it is a form of psychological manipulation and it is a false path to walk. If someone loves you, they want you to be happy, and healthy, and have a good group of friends that you can do solo activities with. If they want to control you, control access to you, and place their own jealousy above your happiness, then they are not in love with you, they are in love with how you make them feel, which is a very different thing.

    I mean, all you have to do to realize that 'if you love someone, you should do anything for them' is false is look at extreme examples. If you love someone, should you kill a child if they ask you to? No, obviously not. If you love someone, should you rob a bank and use the money to buy them a new car if they really want one? No, obviously not. If you love someone, should you cut off your limbs because they have a bit of an amputee fetish? No, obviously not. Someone that loves you would not ask those things of you. Your love would be simply being taken advantage of to do things that were bad for you, in order to appease someone that didn't truly love you. Getting rid of friends, while not as extreme, is still a similar thing - their jealousy and possessiveness is not a sign of love, it's a sign of infatuation and a sign that they love themselves and their own happiness more than your health and well-being. And that is not a good trade, which is why it's hard for guys to do it.


What Guys Said 2

  • A few thoughts
    He can argue the same thing of "if she loves me..."
    As in, If she loves me, she should be ok with me having female friends.

    He may have feelings for that female friend still amd is enjoying the fantasy of maintaining a relationship.

    He may be drawn to female frie ds because his girlfriend doesn't want him to have any.

    • I mean im not the one going through this but seeing all these internet memes about jealous girlfriends and female i can't help but question. I never really had a long term boyfriend so its hard for me to determine whether im the jealous type of not

  • I have a very good female friend, she's like one of 4 people I consider to be my best friends (she's the girlfriend of one of the friends). If my future girlfriend would not want me to hang out with her, I'd tell her to deal with it. If she has a problem with her, than she needs to fix it, not me. I'm not going to lose a very good friend over her unabillity to deal with jealousy.


What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe they know each for over 10 years or longer than he has met you. And she has been there during rough and difficult times. I personally don't think anyone should give up a friend who has always been there for you though thick and thin, because your partner doesn't like them. You have to always be secure in the relationship. If it's an old friend, she not going anywhere unless one of them betray each other. You're going to have to trust him and maybe find a mutual way to get along with her for his sake. If you don't like her because she is his friend, then that's a problem. You don't know what she has done for him as a friend. But if it's to the point where you both are having cat fights. Just don't be around her. What if you had a guy friend you know for years who has helped you out supported you, would you give them up for someone who you might not know how long you guys would be together. Being with someone even though you might not like their family or friends you put on face for them because it's not about making them happy, it's about making him happy. Proving to him what's important to him is important to you. Now if it's a friend that he hasn't known that long then I don't know, you don't know what kind of support she gives him as friend. if you guys have excellent communication and trust there won't be an issue.