I like him but it's not enough. How do I bring up the topic?

So there's this guy that I'm kinda dating ("kinda" because we went on few dates but we still didn't kiss or anything, he is not making any moves on me). He is overall great and treats me amazing when we are together, but he is so freaking unavailable that it's turning me off. He always has excuses why he didn't call earlier and I'm just fed up with it, I'm allergic to excuses. He would go days or a week without contacting me and it just seems like I'm nowhere on his priority list. It's always on his terms. I'm a firm believer that when a guy wants you, he will make it happen, you will know it and you won't have to come on GaG for reassurance. But yeah, here I am. I'm not asking if he likes me or what his deal is, I don't care about that, I learned the hard way to only listen to myself and to only pay attention to what I WANT and how I FEEL. And I feel lame with this guy. Call me demanding, clingy, needy, crazy... but what he offers is just not enough for me. I feel stupid every time I text him because I know he won't respond until who knows when, and then he's gonna make an excuse. Every. Time. The thing is that I am so shy and I'm not good at communicating my feelings with someone I barely know. The last time I tried bringing up the topic, I just froze because he wasn't meeting me half way and I felt uncomfortable. He gave me a weird look and then after a minute of silence he changed the topic. So I just simply can't bring myself up to talk to him again about it, it's too awkward and I feel intimidated. The only way I might have a courage to talk is via texting. Should I do it like that then? He just texted me to see what I'm up to and if I want to meet up, and I'm so not in the mood for another failed date where we talk about everything BUT us. And don't tell me that I should make a move because I already did, I tried initiating a kiss and he just blew me off. So, how do I do it?

I was thinking about just ghosting out like blocking him and ignoring him, but I can't do that because I do like him and he is not a douche. If we're gonna stop seeing each other I would at least want to give him an explanation.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Do it over text but don't expect him to change. I can't see this working long-term. Like you're already so annoyed with this guy and you apparently don't even know him too well. Just imagine what trying to be in a relationship with him would be like. Probably exhausting.

    • Yeah you're totally right haha. Honestly I initially just wanted to have sex with him at first because he is so damn hot. But now I don't even want that. He should've used me while he had a chance lol.

    • Ehhh nah don't think like that, that probably just would have made the whole thing worse.

    • Oh no, it wouldn't! It's so sad how when we girls actually want to go for sex only, there's no one around and guys either want serious or are like this guy. And when we are looking for something more, all that guys want is sex. It's so ironic. This guy did not only make me feel lame for wanting to date me, but he also made me feel unattractive. He seemed like a guy who would totally do a one night stand (because he's hot) but I guess I was wrong...

  • Some may not agree but if you can't do it in person then I think it's fine to do it in text.
    Text him and say you think he is a great guy but you need someone more consistent and attentive than what he is being right now, tell him if he wants to be that guy then great lets give it a serious go but if not then thats cool as you will find someone else who is willing to step up in which case you would rather not continue with him. Then ask him to let you know what he wants.

    Basically you are saying you like him but he needs to step up hos game if he wants you and if he isn't that serious then move aside so you can find someone who is.

    • Thanks, that sounds good, I will do it like that. :)

    • Good luck!

  • Text him that you moved on, because you need to. Don't waste your time with him. Do you really think this is gonna go anywhere? It's not. Find someone else. You know how many other girls he could be seeing besides you during the time he isn't responding to you? I wouldn't trust a word he says.

    • He told me he got me a gift from the country he was visiting few days ago. Gosh, I would feel like an ass rejecting to meet up now after he got me a gift. :(

    • So he got you a gift. Some guys try to buy your affection. Don't let this guy play with your emotions. Think of him like a friend and nothing more. Not as a potential partner. Just like a friend. And treat him that way, because in all seriousness, that's how he's treating you. Friends get each other gifts. Friends also blow each other off from time to time, but people who like each other don't. So just be casual like "thanks! we can meet up. When's good?"