Okay, I'm currently a junior in college. I've never dated anyone or had any romantic relationships with a guy before. I'm not the type to hook up or flirt with guys -it's just not something I would do, personally.
I've been in college long enough to notice that most guys seem to be attracted to those who are very open to sex. What if the girl is not open to having sex before marriage? I understand that my way of thinking may be extremely old fashioned, but this is what I strongly value.
My friends who initially had the same thought as me (being conservative and all) are finally giving in to the social pressure (or maybe they actually want it) and are hooking up and living the typical young wild and free college life. Guys always come to them, whether they are looking for sex, or just friendship.
I find it very hard to make guy friends, let alone having a guy be romantically attracted to me.
I don't speak in a vulgar way -pretty formal most of the time (it's just how I am). But it doesn't mean I can't have some fun once in a while (modestly though)! I choose my words wisely and try not to say too much. In social events I observe rather than participate.
Do guys find this intimidating? What do you guys really look for when you want a serious relationship?
Most Helpful Guy
I'm way over your age, but I was raised in the same way and back then, yes I would have dated someone like you, have dated people like you, and I actually respect that more.
But you are in a younger and even more corrupt generation.. once some guys start getting that, the rest are pulled that direction. You likely will have better luck finding a Christian/Catholic, someone who was raised with old fashioned values who respects your choice than randomly finding a guy in college. the challenge is the guys sex drive at that age is at peak... and snuggling, kissing etc.. is really hard to manage because it is a trigger.
Not sure why guys aren't attracted. they certainly will be attracted more to the girls who cast a sexual image, but I am and was attracted to the girls who cast a "love" image vs a sexual one.
Its going to be tough sitting back like that... more than likely, you'll want a shy guy as they are reserved, but he isn't gonna approach you. You may have to be confident and approach.
Intimidating: I used to find it intimidating, but I don't anymore. At your age, if the guy approaches you, he is aggressive. Like I said, I think the shy guy, who likely doesn't even show up to events is your better bet or someone who is religious.1
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Most Helpful Girl
Your best chance at finding someone similar to you is looking online at sites like okcupid. com
That's where I went to find my boyfriend.
I have similar views as you do, except I will have sex in a serious relationship (so before marriage, but not promiscuous), and I'm slightly socially awkward... I have always had problems forming relationships with people that I meet because I'm not very good at marketing myself I guess... it's much easier to find someone and talk to someone online when looks aren't the #1 most important thing and there's no pressure to say the right thing or wear the right thing or act the right way. Just talk and go from there.
Especially since you can find people that you never would have found otherwise. Like perhaps you guys don't go in the same circle, or don't get out much (like was the case for myself, I hated going places where you'd typically meet boys).
Anyways, immature guys do find that intimidating. College age guys especially want to have sex. But if you look online there will be more options. Or just wait until you finally find someone.2