Feeling like a fool. Self esteem is shot. Any words of comfort?

I was talking to this guy online for quite sometime. Pictures were exchanged over the course of us talking. He was there for me during my rough patches and I was there for him during his. We built a great bond. Both leading busy work lives our schedules never worked well to meet up for a decent amount of time. Plus not to mention... he lives a city away. He was the kind of call you in the morning, call you in the evening... text you throughout the day, call when he was with his friends, call while he was at work kind of guy. Even shocked me when he was getting into the emojis as well. We already knew that we liked each other and tried to make plans to meet up. We both discussed that we wanted something serious but we wanted to take things slow... not rush anything... Which is perfect... we would need to take time to get to know each other before jumping into anything.

So... WHEN WE FINALLY MEET... he is sweet... polite.. we laugh... he takes me to his workplace amoungst his coworkers (he really didn't have to). Kisses me before I leave for my job and even inquires if we will see each other again soon. Texts and calls to tell me that he is SO happy we met. And then two days later.. when I brought up a cool event in the city.. he just blurts out that he doesn't know what he wants in terms of a relationship... that he likes me a lot and wants to see me again when he has time.

Blindsided... because I was not trying to put a label on us. Heck it was our first time out.. we JUST had lunch.. He has been weird ever since. This came out of left field. And I am so confused because he is calling me.. texting me when im done work, calling during my work break.. he is very hot and cold now.

I feel like a fool and my self esteem feels shot because I didn't expect this reaction from him. and I have no idea what to do.. I keep thinking that maybe something I said or did turned him on and off... who the heck knows..(no crude, rude, not so nice responses please...)


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  • hmm... why don't you meet up with him and talk about this face-to-face? it seems like he really likes you but also is possibly scared about committing to you. so... get the truth out of him and then decide what to do.

    • I talked to him last night. Asked him to be honest. This is what he said:

      Morning cute superwoman , not sure myself what's going on. But I do know ur the kindest person iv ever met u have a big heart , dnt want to lead you on u deserve a great man and right now im not. I truly am lucky to know you. hopefully we can talk later this morning 😝

    • sounds like he doesn't want a relationship :/ at least, not a real commitment..