Most Helpful Guy
Some guys are being trained to be mean to lower the womans self esteem.. that. s how they catch the woman. Some guys are narcissistic, which means they are selfish and don't care about your feelings so... they don't care if they are mean and being mean makes them feel better about themselves as they lower you. .. e. g. they are really sick people IMHO.
Other guys just don't know they are being mean when they say or do something because they don't know what you are sensitive to.
Lastly, communication male to female is difficult as we are wired and think so differently. Words mean different things, have different connotations, etc.. So, we have to work hard at communication.
Not all guys are mean, we try to be nice, but can be mean just by being in sensitive to your sensitivities.
Women by the way have 2x the number of nerve endings on their skin than men. So we are "duller" in sensitivity. We are lesser in emotional empathy (until matured).
The real question is why are you attracted to mean guys cause we aren't all mean. Are you attracted to kind, sweet, nice guys? Most women are not... and so there is your answer... y'all keep breeding bad guys:)
Most Helpful Girl
I don't think being mean is gender specific -I've met plenty of mean girls in my time too.
I know from personal experience that sometimes guys can come across as being mean, when in actual fact they're just being extremely forward or honest. As a sensitive person, I used to take everything to heart and assume they were being mean, but now I recognize that's its just brutal forwardness/honesty. In saying that though, this doesn't apply to all guys, and it certainly can apply to women too.