Is saying "Love you" after pouring out your feelings the same as "I love you"?

Short Version of story:
This guy and I went on our first date together last month. Long story short, I told him that it wasn't going work. Two nights ago, he said he wouldn't take "no" for an answer and wouldn't accept being friends and I still say no. He sends a 4:00 am texts that says "Love you". I will put the long version of the story below.
Long Version:
I would like to explain that although we had met a year prior, we didn't start talking more until recently. I would also like to add that I had became a vegetarian 4 months prior and he kept forgetting and occasionally inviting me to wing restaurants or barbeques. This secretly infuriated me but, I kept my cool.
On our date, while talking, that I felt like some of his ideals were too shallow and we just didn't agree. I also explained that I didn't like sports but, then he turns on a basketball highlight video trying to make me like it. More recently, he had forgotten and tried to invite me over to watch basketball. At the movies , on our date, he was on his phone the whole time. Fast forward to Spring Break, he calls me up in the middle of the night and precedes to tell me how he got arrested on the beach and that he "smashed" a bunch of chicks but , couldn't stop thinking about me. This was a huge turn off for me. Then, I decided to give him a second chance and he asks if I wanted to hang out after I worked I agree. While making plans, he assumed I wanted to spend the night. I told him, no, Anyway, before he picked me up, he texted me and told me that he took a few Oxycontin. I was highly upset and I cancelled on him. I told him the next day that we can't be more than friends. Then he sends a stream of texts about how he can change his ways. I still tell him no. Over the past few weeks , he keeps trying to ask what I'm doing or follow me around/ tag along. He has also made inappropriate/sexual comments about my body.

Sorry for the messy story, I was typing really fast. If you have any questions , please ask.


What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • You need to compare his actions with his words. He says he "loves you" but his off doing other things and making inappropriate/sexual comments about your body.

    He doesn't seem like he means it. Maybe he just says that so he can "score one" with you.

  • "Love you" and " I love you " have the same meaning if either is said in all sincerity.

    Some people say " I love you" but they're insincere. So I wouldn't be too concerned about him missing the " I" from his words.

    Concentrate more on how genuine he is , and how true those words are. You can't determine that just by one letter being missed out.

    If someone genuinely loves you, then you'll know it. If not, then you'll feel confused and full of doubt about their intentions

    • I don't want him to be in love with me , that's what I'm scared of because we went on ONE date and had no chemistry in the first place. I was hoping "Love you" possibly meant something platonic but, given circumstances, he confessed his feelings of never giving up on perusing me hours before.

    • I think it should be easy to determine if he means it or not by his behaviour and actions towards you. Some people throw the word " love", about but it doesn't necessarily mean they are sincere.

      Some people do say " I love you" but they mean it in a platonic way.

      " I'm in love with you" takes on a whole new meaning though

      Let him know where he stands with you , and if he still won't take " no" for an answer then tell him to " take a hike"

  • No, no, no, no... It is NOT the same. That isn't love. No offense, but he sounds like a ticking time bomb. He sounds like he could be very controlling and demanding in the future, and he clearly doesn't respect you. He sounds like a dick. I wouldn't waste your time with it.

    • I only asked because it would really creep me out if he was "in love" with me already. Yeah, this is why I keep telling him that I'm not interested in a relationship. I'm at the point where I'm not even sure we should continue a friendship if he won't accept it.

    • Show All
    • Yup. I don't get it either. He also doesn't take time to remember important things about me and he also tries to change my opinion on anything he disagrees with. For example, I am not a party person and I am introverted. I waited until my 21st to try alcohol and he invited me over to help him with a project back when I was 20. Then he made me a drink and kept trying to get me to take a sip and I refused. He kept saying "I'll get you drunk by the end of the night."

    • I honestly think you should stay away from him. There's too many red flags.

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