What should I do about my boyfriend wanting to meet my dad?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now... we met online and he flew out to see me back in October. We have only seen each other once since actually meeting

Background on me he's from the states and I'm originally from the middle east. When he came down to see me he met my mother but not my father... The reason being is due to how our culture thinks about dating boyfriends etc... as well as my relationship with my father. Him and I don't really agree on things so it makes it harder to tell him things

Anyways he had planned for him to come down here again in August and today he asked me when I'm telling my father... I told him I will soon enough he then went on to say that he won't be coming until I tell my father about him

I understand that he really wants to meet him and it would make stuff easier on us but hearing him say that makes it a bit over whelming on me and I feel slightly pressured and that I don't know when I would see him next...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, im evil... i'd just issue a warning, and then sit back and watch the chaos happen... i mean, between the culture about dating, the fact that you met online, and he is leaving the States... I'd sit back and watch this.
    Thats like my girl wanting to meet my mom, i'd do the same thing, she might think its all fine and dandy... until something blows up. i'd just take cover before.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, long distance relationships suck, Im glad I got out of my one, anyway, my boyfriend used to do the same with me (the ldr one), he was always on about why he couldn't meet my family and stuff, and if I was embarrased that he was my boyfriend, he wouldn't understand that it was a very complicated position for me, until one day he gave me an ultimatum and said he would break up with me if I didn't in some period of time, I just couldn't so when the time came I just talked to him about it, I think other people talk to him about it too, some friends of his, and he finally understood how overwhelming all of that was for me, and he apologized and said he'd support me no matter what and that I should take my time, though I know deep down he never got past it and that he always thought I was trying to hid him like if I was embarrased, which wasn't the case, we ended breaking up because of too many things, you can just try talking to him about it but if he doesn't realize by himself, I don't think anything would make him realize, good luck though!


What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • You have known from the Start here, how a muslim father is with all of a Sour Ball... The reason being is due to how our culture thinks about dating boyfriends etc...
    I Married a man out in Egypt awhile ago and being a Christian girl, No big Deal with being sometimes this Fifth Wheel. However, a Muslim girl is supposed to marry a Muslim man and no other will Do, especially in dad's eyes, there will be now a Big problem of Choosing either Dad or Him for You.
    Think things over more carefully before going another step. I am proud of you for taking Baby Steps, introducing him to mom, but I also know that this will probably not fly with Dad and it could end up to be Very... Bad.
    Good luck and my own personal blessings. xx

  • The thing is, you're not a child. You're an adult. And sometimes we have to do things we don't wanna do - like tell our parents that this is our life and we make our own choices and they have to live with that. This man wants to be with you, if you don't want to be with him too, then break up with him but don't let something as small as telling your father that you're dating this guy stop you from living your life and being with who you wanna be with! Are you never going to tell your father about any man you want to be with? Because if it's just this guy, it means that you don't really want to be serious with him.

    • I think is a good partial solution. I don't know your personal situation or on what terms you and your family members are, so I can't say specifically what to do or would be a good path to choose. If you are on good terms, mentioning you have an interest in someone online and far away would, hopefully, eliminate some of the stress and anxiety you are feeling.