Is being "intimidating" (or just awesome) off-putting to guys because it emasculates them?

In the past I have been told that I can be seen as "intimidating" because of the way that I live life.

I have travelled almost constantly as a solo female and have done things such as hitch through Asia and live on a deserted beach in a hammock, work in the Australian outback on a mine, run jungle survival skill schools and paddle 200km across an ocean on a self made raft.

I often find that when I talk to guys about myself (they ask, I don't brag) about what I do they either become somewhat stand offish and I don't hear from them again or the relationship never gets past a friendship. Those who I have become friends with have told me that I would be "intimidating" to have as a girlfriend because I have done so much stuff that they would feel like I had "beaten" and emasculated them.

Without blowing my horn I am quite an attractive person with a slim body shape so I don't think that it is my looks putting people off.

What is your opinion? Would you find it difficult to date someone like me because you would feel emasculated and like I had "beaten" you in the life game? :/

Apologies if my post seems rather arrogant. I'm just interested in your opinion and thought is best be honest to see what you really think.

Update: I should have clarified that when I said I 'have travelled constantly' what I actually meant is that 'have travelled constantly for the last 4 years and continue to do so'. I do not work in what might be considered a normal job but rather do things such as the above for employment. Except for the hitching obviously!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Being awesome is awesome, some guys are just pussies.


Most Helpful Girl

  • There are probably some guys who no doubt feel that way, but I wouldn't assume that's the main reason for guys who are successful in their own lives.

    - It could be that your lifestyle is one that they don't feel is compatible with their own. If you travel constantly, not everyone is going to be okay with being long-distance so often. They want someone who's going to be around.

    - It could be that there's something in your personality that's off-putting. If they're becoming standoffish once you talk about what you do, maybe the way you talk about it is coming off as self-important or condescending.

    There's not much you can do about guys who are intimidated, but if you're still having issues appealing to the rest, I would consider those above two reasons.

    Good luck!


What Guys Said 4

  • What is your job?
    It can be intimidating because most guys don't have these experiences and would feel like they're not compatible with you. It looks like a world travel would be more compatible with you, then some guy that works in accounting.

    • Thank you for the answer. Per se I don't have one particular job but move from project to project working on things such as I mentioned above - the mines, maritime things and survival schools. Anything goes as far as work so long as I find it interesting.
      I understand what you mean in terms of my being better suited to someone who would travel rather than someone in accounting, but do you really the sense of incompatibility causes a feeling of intimidation?

    • I can't speak for everyone but in my experience, the girls I've met that were world travelers were interested in a life I couldn't provide for them. I can't go climbing K2 just for the hell of it because I'm scared of heights and I have a job here that I can't just leave.

      You need someone that is a free spirit, that isn't tied down to any location or to have many casual relationships. Otherwise I don't see how someone that only travels once in a while can be compatible with you.

  • They probably don't want a girl that acts like a man in her life endeavours. It's not intimidation so much as "I'm not compatible with this bulldyke."

    You'll realise this when you hit 35, either way.

    • Funnily enough your rather offensive comment actually made me feel better.
      It made me realise that if a man considers my adventures to make me a 'bulldyke' due to the fact that going out and enjoying myself is seen as trying to 'act like a man in her life endeavours' they can go and get royally stuffed as I wouldn't want anything to do with them anyway.
      Thank you for that!

  • I think it's basically feeling not good enough to keep up with you're adventurous lifestyle. So in that case, can't women feel emasculated too then? And why is it coloured as the guy's fault, like he did something wrong?

    • Emasculated doesn't really work for women. Because women don't desire to feel masculine in the first place.

      It's his fault, because it's his insecurity

    • Show All
    • @Narset I answered the questions he asked.

      It's a "preference" based on an insecurity though and wouldn't it make sense to work on that insecurity? I mean men don't really have any of their traditional roles anymore, I'm not sure what they're insecure about here?

    • @nalaa It's about not feeling good enough, small, uninteresting by comparison, envious. Girls never feel that? Fault might the wrong word, why do people consider it so negative for him but don't consider it so negative a reflection when it's in girls?

  • But those are achievements, not contributions, what do you do for society (job)?


What Girls Said 0

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