I broke it off with my friends with benefits, I miss him so much, can I get him back?

Anonymous
I met my friends with benefits 4 months ago from dating site. I was attracted to him a lot from the very first time, he's so my type. We made out and have sex on our first date.
He is honest and careful, he said he doesn't expect serious things from meeting people online. I admire him being honest and felt like I would be alright to have a casual relationship with him, i enjoyed have sex with him and i enjoyed being with him.
We meet every once a week or 2 to make out and have sex then spend a little time together. He has initiated almost all our meetings, he sometimes say things cute that sounds like he want to see me so much when i can't meet.
Everything has been alright (seemed). I 'm kinda shy , however, i talk and say things when i 'm on a date even it actually takes so much effort sometimes. But, it has been quite awkward for a few times when we talked, he was clearly concerning he's talking too much and held back something, it makes me impossible to pretend not noticing it and still feel free to talk to him. And i also started to feel bad about myself as when we done things i struggled whether to stay there with him but being so quiet or just to leave.
So, last time when he asked me to meet, I told him I was not sure. i explained to him, then he said he has the same feeling too, he ask me to meet him anyway so that we can improve things. I was actually afraid to check his response as i don't want things keep go on awkwardly, but at the same time, i am so affraid of losing him, so i read his messages till i got home. Then, I replied sorry and made up some excuse explained that i wasn't able to check his messages, i also said i feel sorry about making him feel not comfortable too, and he never get back to this conversation up till now.
Have i said something wrong that really would made him don't want to talk to me again? Or he just also need time to think now? Should i initiate a conversation and ask him to meet? Would this seem desperate?

Updates:
+1 y
What would he think if i talk to him first? Or should i just move on and get over him (but i don't think i can forget him)?
I broke it off with my friends with benefits, I miss him so much, can I get him back?
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