I'm so conflicted about "doing stuff" with my girlfriend, I really don't know what to do?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 10 months. I won't lie, I am head over heals crazy for her. I love every little thing about her. But I feel so conflicted. I am super attracted to her, and she is to me. We both have the means of protection and know what we're doing. I just feel so conflicted. I want to do this and other things with her, but I also want her to remain pure I guess. I don't think I'd want to be with someone at this age that isn't a virgin so if we went through a break up I would feel so bad knowing I wasn't the first to my future husband or wife and she isn't either.

Maybe this is an unrealistic expectation, that I'll find someone who waits till marriage. But I know my parents did.

I guess the question is, I want to but should I? What would you do.

  • No, you should not do anything with her.
  • Yes, you can do something with her.
  • Other
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't recommend having sex until you are 100% ready and not conflicted- no matter how long you have to wait for that. If you're conflicted and you choose to have sex anyway, you have a much higher chance of regretting your decision, and that would be crummy. Just wait. Do it when it feels right to you. Maybe you will wait until marriage, or maybe your views and feelings will change as you get older, but either way, there's no reason to have sex before you're completely ready. There is no rush.


Most Helpful Guy

  • i don't understand this obsession with girls needing to be sexually "pure". Like, when i hear this stuff i sometimes feel like we're still living in the medieval era where virgin girls were bartered around like trading cards. Something so easily hidden/lied about just doesn't seem like something worth fussing over

    • Ah yes it seems I didn't explain well enough. It's not about her staying pure as a girl. It's about us staying pure as a couple or as people. I'm bisexual so this had nothing to do with gender, sorry about that.

    • ah, fair enough

What Girls Said 4

  • I sense that you just aren't feeling ready. If you feel like it's going to taint any future relationships then maybe it's worth waiting?

    Sex can complicate things. Especially if you are worried about a break up. If you two are meant to be together, then you will stay together. There is plenty of time for sex.

    • My parents said the same thing, wise words. Thank you. It's difficult because she seems like the one, you know? It's so early on and we're young but it feels like I could spend the rest of my life with her. So currently I couldn't imagine sharing that intimate moment with anyone else. Plus, I'm sure teenage hormones don't help. lol Thanks again. <3

    • You're welcome!

  • you don't sound ready so don't do it

  • Yeah, I don't think you should do anything. Wait.

  • When you sleep with somebody you connect not only with flesh but with your soul too. And more partners you have, less significant sex becomes. Please let her be, do not touch her. PLEASE, would you read the book "Love, sex and dating " by Andy Stanley. It has 186 pages for you to read but I have read it in 2 days, small format and easy to read. I wish I've read that sooner. Or somebody explained Bible to me... Society tells you it's okay, but deep inside, you feel that it's not. Othervise you would not ask.

    • Though I know it was unintentional, you have come across incredibly condescending. "Do not touch her and let her be." That sounds as if I am the only one who would want to do the act and it would not be consensual. Do also not be so condescending to say that I do not know that sex is not just a physical connection.

      Also, don't bring up religion, if that's what you mean by bible. To follow the bible would also mean if a man called a virgin a bad name he would be punished and fined 100 shekels which would be paid to the girls father. Or if she isn't a virgin, she shall be stoned to death in her fathers home. But I'm not here to debate religion. For the record, deep down I don't think it is not okay to sleep with her right now. I am wondering and thoughtfully considering if now is the right time. Best not to claim to know how I feel from a small sample of text presented in a question.

    • I am sorry if I offended you in any way, but not sorry for what I wrote because that was in best intention and also my opinion. You asked. And what you said about Bible.. it's the Old Testament you are talking about, I am talking about New but ok, won't bring up religion any further. Best of luck to you too. :))

    • "[The] more partners you have, [the] less significant sex becomes."

      Absolutely not true.

      That's as silly as saying that a deep conversation suddenly means less if it's between people who talk a lot.

What Guys Said 1

  • You can do whatever with her as long as she wants to also. Your parents could have lied about that cause they don't want you to impregnate your girls

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