Haha tell me?The thing is were not quite in a relationship yet so i don't want to push or scare him saying girlfriend
Nonono, you do this over a period of time babes. Weeks, mb even months. Baby steps. (I thought that was clear from the way I wrote it, sry)
That's what I'm saying but I also don't want to be pushy because I have in the past
yeah, I mean, this is pretty much THE way to go about this without "being pushy".not to mention that it's absolutely intoxicating, too. I mean, shit, they talk about "working on the relationship"... obviously people need to work on real communication skills, too, but this kind of stuff (sexing up the idea of commitment/relationship/love) is also part of the "work", and, damned if it ain't the best "work" you'll ever get.srsly, though. the point is to do this in VERY small, almost unnoticeable increments. that's the art of seduction -- it shouldn't be too brash or too noticeable or too abrupt. it should be subtle, always.if YOU are brash and abrupt and loud (like me!), then... that's even better, as a complement to a nice, subtle seduction. he'll never see it coming.also, at the same time, you can branch out into more adventurous things together, too -- whatever sexual adventures you've been wanting to explore together. tie those into the relationship/commitment avenue, too.
The only thing with this is that I don't really talk dirty to him
That seems like a skill set you could work on lol
I guess do I really want to start if he knows that's not me though?
I suppose there's a certain percent chance that could happen, yeah.If you DON'T try, there is a 100.0000000 percent chance that it will fail.<3Go for it girl.
But Is their a way to incorporate what your saying but not talk dirty because I never did and he knows me very well
I mean, sure -- the dirty stuff isn't SUPER essential to the whole build-up. The progression works without it.If you're absolutely uncomfortable with it, the rest of what I've described should still work overall.__At the same time, I doubt that he'll mind if you "discover" a whole new side of you WITH HIM. It would be a special thing for the two of you to share, basically.If you ever watch porn -- or even accidentally have porn open in yr web browser -- you could always "happen upon" a video clip or two with some nice dirty talk in it, while he's around, and then say, hey, I wanna try that with you big boy. lol
Possibly. How do I do it without the dirty talk though?
I mean, looking back on what I wrote, the only thing that even resembles dirty talk in there is the word "fuck". So honestly, if you just pull that and throw "make love" in there (or just ad-lib as you see fit -- I'm sure the two of you will have yr own code-words for stuff, too)... well, there you go.
I don't want to start calling me his without him asking me to be though
Ah I see what you mean.Well... if you want this, at some point you'll have to put yrself out there and take that kind of risk. You can certainly shepherd the process along, to some extent -- using the kind of stuff I've described above -- but, realistically speaking, if he's the reluctant one, you can't expect him to make ALL the "first moves".Like, you *WILL* have to do at least some of these things first."I'm yours" is a pretty small step, as these things go. (Objectively, those are big words -- but, this stuff isn't objective. Realistically speaking, it's a MUCH smaller step than "I love you", which is much more loaded with cultural and behavioral expectations.) If you can't bring yourself to make THAT step first, then, I don't know whether you'll have enough initiative to make this work. If we're being brutally honest here.
Well what will come of saying I'm yours and how can I say that I n a sentence without just saying it out of the blue
I mean, I don't know that I can really give you a whole script, lol... At some point you'll have to take the general idea that I'm giving you here, and run with it.Especially if it's something you're gna slip into a conversation. You can't plan the exact wording of that ahead of time, anyway, since... it has to fit into the conversation.Once you have the right frame of mind, it should all be pretty natural anyway. Seduction's a thing most of us girls can do, if we put our minds to it.
Yeah true like the other night I told him I'll keep you warm
yeah, see, you get me. how'd he react to that?just keep improvising until it starts to feel natural.
I want this fish
I understand, but if he doesn't want to be caught, there's no way to make him stay.
Well he's obviously hanging around me
for example if he watches sports, open a beer for him instead of complaining about it, in short way make him feel like he needs you around him, moving in is like marriage without contract so if the person is not totally comfort and ready he won't give up his life style and comfort and space he have in his own place easily !
The problem is he is very independent on his own
What? he does love me. I'm saying there has to be a way girls get guys to commit to them more
If he loves you then what.. specifically are you wanting? I will be happy to explain once you answer.
A relationship right now we're kind of in between
I don't know a single guy who wants a relationship. NONE. Nadda. The ones that do make it very clear. Is the guy your with making that very clear or unclear? I would suggest if he is making it unclear that it is not what he desires. And no matter what you do will change that or if it did would end up in disaster at the end. Sorry. You need to find a person who values your same aspirations and goals. You can't trick a man into wanting what you want.
No he's not but we certainly might as well be, we act like were in one
well even if u guys act like ure in one, only him can want to make things become more serious. there's nothing u can do if his hearts not in it.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
Just ask him directly what does he wantbecause that is the only way for u to know for sure and save urself from a lot of heartachebecause if he s not serious and won't ever be, best to know in order to move on sooner rather than later
How do you know he's acting like we're together already?If he wants to be in one why doesn't he just ask?
maybe he's wondering the same about you? everybody is different
Because he's the guy why doesn't he ask?
i don't know? feminism? gender equality? who really knows
Yes we'll I don't make the first move
then just disappear on him
I can't I love him
so just grab him and give him a long kiss. maybe he will wake tf up
He hasn't yet so what else can I do
well if u really love him then i guess you can't do anything but hope he will come around. it sounds like he will though... can u see it when u look into his eyes?
that he loves you too
Yeah I do. His eyes are really glossy
I think that means that right?
i don't know you both, but... i think he wants to commit too. maybe he is just too shy to admit it.
How do you think he wants to commit?
I can't do anything?
At the end of the day you are who you are. If you put on an act that plays to his desires, then you are a player that is manipulating him. If he comes closer because you were acting, and you "change" back to yourself later he's just going to hate your guts.
I know I definitely am comfortable acting myself around him
So what's the situation with your relationship now and where do you want it to be?
Were not officially together yet and I want to be in a relationship
Are you dating? Are you friends with benefits? What are you...
I guess we're in the dating stage or in between were we are not I'm a relationship yet. See its weird with him because he is also my ex so we already dated for awhile at one point in time
Well, if he's your ex then he probably figures you're back together and he doesn't need to define it... Either he took you back or you took him back... If your confused about that, then talk to your man. Ask him what you are. :)
Really? You think? But he won't let me keep stuff at his place
Well the only way you're going to be certain about it all is to talk to him and see what he thinks.
Well I don't want to ask again because the last time I did he said I don't want to get back together now even though that was a year ago
A year is a long time to go without "talking"...
No I mean we stay talking whatever. I'm saying its been a year since he said that to me
When I said "talking" I meant development of intimacy. Dating and keeping a cold defensive distance for an entire year would personally kill my interest in someone...
No we have been developing our relationship. He has gotten a lot better since he last told me that
Then talk to him and figure out where you stand...
I can't I said because last time I asked he said not now
Well then stick with hope and a shoestring...
Can't I get him to say anything somehow?
You want to social engineer the guy into starting a conversation you want to have by passive aggressively suggesting you want to talk about it without saying you want to talk about it? I'm guessing this is why you guys broke up last time...
Not really but I'm scared he won't want anything with me
That is a possibility. But if he's going to turn you lose just because you want to know where you stand, then do you really want to stick with him? Most likely he'll tell you so long as you aren't pressuring him for commitment. He might say he doesn't want anything serious, and then you have to decide if you're OK with that. He might say, he sees you as his girl friend. He might say I don't know... If you don't ask. you won't know.
He'll think I am pressuring him for a commitment
It depends on how you say it...
What's a good reason?
Because of how you make them feel.
Yeah I thought I make them feel good I don't know
Nothing I can do?
Threaten to leave, but that might backfire on you.
And who are you