Forget her or give her another chance? Interested in me or attention?

Went No Contact on a girl who I dated for about a month. We were hanging out 2-3 times a week and yes the relationship was sexual. I left for trip and since I got back I haven't been able to hang out with her. She flaked on me twice, I went NC and decided to date other girls.

2 weeks later I decided to follow up one more time. Yes I was breaking the NC but I needed to know. This time I was thinking do or die. Told her she's been a stranger and asked her if she was interested in going out again. At the time she apologized for being a stranger said she was going through things and sick relative. ( it should be noted the sick relative is true and was not made up, but she never took the time to tell me) told her I was sorry to hear that and I put ball in her court to hang out when the dust settles.

Last night I heard from her. Nothing major but I decided to call her out again as I had seen her partying and shit through snapchat with her girlfriends. I told her I had never hung out with someone 2-3 times a week for a month and have them just go cold turkey on me. I wanted to know WTF happened because we were having so much fun then nothing.

Her reply "Hi, I'm so sorry, I've been going through some things. My grandfather passed away :( but I do agree I had a lot of fun with you and want to hang out again :) I apologize I really don't mean to ignore you"

I told her I was free Friday and I would take her out then but no reply and message read.

Whats the thoughts here guys? Should I give her the time of day or just fucking move on. It should be noted I have been out and dating other girls, I actually have a date Saturday night, but me and this girl click on so many levels. I fucking hate games, I don't want to play them but i do want to see her again. The fact I even let this girl get in my head like this is not like me but I'm smitten, don't know what else to say but that.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She is either playing games or leading you on (while not being interested). Damn some people really need to fucking learn how to reject. They keep using excuses and shit just so they don't seem like assholes. What they don't understand is that they are being even bigger assholes this way. I had this happen to me plenty of times. At one point I just couldn't take it anymore and had to DRAG it out of them that they are not interested and would rather stay friends. Whatever the case is with this girl, the obvious thing is that she doesn't want to hang out with you and that's the only thing that should matter to you. Leave her be, move on. Find someone who knows how to speak their mind.

    • Also, you can't give another chance to someone who's not asking for it.

    • Thank you for input. I agree with moving on as I do want to. I've always been the guy where if one fish isn't interested you move on to the next fish that is. I started spending a lot of time though with this fish and I did let my guard down. I wasn't ready to be exclusive but I was getting to that point.

      The thing with what you say is in my message I basically have her an out. she did not need to reply to my message. I would have gotten the hint and said forget it. Instead she replied with what she said and then didn't reply to me when I gave a firm date to hang out so its like WTF. This is why I think it's so in my head, because I truly don't know how she feels about it. Why tell me you have a lot of fun with me and want to hang out when you aren't interested. That's what keeps me hanging on to something and I hate that I let it get to me this much. It's so stupid to let someone get into my head and fuck with my happiness

    • Yeah but not everyone are like you and me. She replied just to be polite. I don't do that, but some people do, trust me. Some people would do much, much more even if they're not interested. I think she takes you as a great dude that she could be friends with... or just have sex with when it's convenient for her. Basically on her terms.

      I used to be like that when I was younger. I wasn't really interested in a guy but I liked the attention and I didn't have balls to say no. So I would just be friendly and polite for some time, until I either ghost out or tell the magical word "you're such a great friend!".

      But I totally get you, though. A guy who did exactly the same to me made me feel exactly the same. We are now just friends, but I still have a crush on him. I feel like a retard every time I text him and he doesn't respond until days go by. But that's how it is and I will either get used to it... or meet someone else and ghost out on him.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If she really wanted you she wouldn't be off partying and loosing herself she would be with you. Just tell her your moving on and in a year or longer tell her to call you when she has found herself. (Imply as well the sooner she finds her self the less likely you will find another in your voice. Cause she sounds toxic and lost.) Also tell her that your not one to play relationship games.


What Girls Said 3

  • my thought is you should calm the fuck down! her friends took her out to cheer her up after losing a loved one and your whining like a little baby because she's not giving you all her attention.

    • I didn't put the whole story in here because it would have dragged on. There is more too it. Didn't think someone was just going to call me out for this but thank you.

  • Maybe the time away caused a snag in the momentum. A guy completely ghosted on me (after about a month, seeing each other 2-3 times a week, and there was a sexual relationship) when he got a new job and after a week I kind of accepted that I probably wasn't going to see him anymore and even if I did, I felt like some momentum would already be lost. It is important for things in a relationship to keep continue forward, no matter how slow or fast. He never did show up after a week but after a week of not seeing him, like I said, I felt like it was a little weird. Since you disappeared on her, then waited two weeks to get back in touch she may have already decided it was just not going anywhere. She isn't playing games at all, it is just the circumstances. If the guy I was seeing tried showing back up now I would not hang out with him anymore.

  • Perhaps she is going through some tough times in life, or she has a few things she doesn't feel comfortable sharing with you just yet.
    OR she is playing with you and trying to have her pick. Meaning she's going on dates with other guys as well and opening up to different choices. Your best bet would be to just flat out tell her how you're feeling. Ask her if she's been okay. The only way you will know for sure is to have a serious conversation with her instead of having your mind wonder!


What Guys Said 1

  • Move on and keep banging other girls...

    • The crazy thing is I have man. This shit happened a little over a month ago and I've been with 2 girls since and gone out with a few more. I just don't see in them what I see with her.

      I was doing better until I heard from her last night. If I'm going to move on I think I'll need to block her on shit so she doesn't contact me

    • Show All
    • we all have been ther bro,

      trust me, i understand how it feels, and this is exactly why im giving you advice, you want her, the reality is, if she wanted to go out with you, she would have done it by now.

      you know this.

      anyway, hope she contacts you again haha, but dont fall for her bro , she might be playing!

    • I will not contact her again. Seriously I won't break that rule. The thing that plays with me is I have given her an out. I pretty much just flat said look we had fun, if you aren't interested anymore then it is what it is and she then proceeds to tell me she wants to hang out.

      It is what it is. Need to take my own advice, your advice and just fucking get her out of my head.

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