So I'm in college. I met a guy and things were great at first. We fell inlove. And he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and we dated for a week before he changed his mind and wanted to slow things down. Things rolled downhill from there. We were constantly having issues and constantly having to have talks and we've basically been on and off for about 6 months when it came to being a thing. Recently it has gotten worse. One day I noticed that he was acting different and so later that night I called one of my friends to come to my room because she seemed to know about his life. She broke the news and told me he has been hooking up with one of my friend's friends. I called him immediately and told him to never talk to me again. We didn't talk for a whole 24 hours and then he texted me asking to talk. I told him I think we should and we did. He explained that it was a one time thing and that he was drunk but other than that he really had nothing else to say. Of course me being a girl I got distracted by my feelings for him and got sucked into crying in his arms and hugging and kissing him when I know I shouldn't have. Eventually he left but right after he left I snapped out of it and asked him for some space over summer vacation. He agreed but then didn't really respect my space because he texted me two days later saying how empty he felt without talking to me. I fell for it and we started talking again and I then realized that I can't be around him for more than like a minute without being hurt by every little thing he does. So we got in a fight and the next morning I sent him a text saying I really need space and all that and he ignored it? Then I went to the dining hall at my school and he saw me and said hi to me? I'm so confused. I'm obviously inlove with him and just want things to be better. Yes he cheated on me but I honestly feel that if we give each other space over the summer it could work out next year? I need advice. why did he act like that?
Most Helpful Guy
Multiple cases of he doesn't respect you.
He cheats on you... albeit you two were fighting so it wasn't going well anyway.
You lay down a boundary that you need space and he disrespects it.
Why did he cheat? maybe because the relationship wasn't going well and he acted out for cheap "drugs". Maybe because he wasn't committed
Why did he stop by to talk? Because he hasn't let go either.
You both really need counseling, but you probably don't have the $ for it. You need to cleanup your feelings about this guy and put them in order because you are drawn to him (probably not in a good way) but you are bad for each other it appears. I don't see this working out without counseling to figure out why you are attracted and what is going on emotionally, building some semblance of trust. Otherwise, I think you are just going to keep hurting each other. That is how this stuff works and why relationships are so hard. I'm working on a mytake on this subject of why... so watch for it. you just aren't seeing what is lying below the surface emotionally.
Most Helpful Girl
From where I am sitting here, dear, it isd Obvious he is Not Ready Not Raring to be in any Real Relationship with you or Anyone under the Sun.
He already had made it clear as well, that when he had Suddenly 'Changed his mind,' it was Also due to Not having you as his Steady Betty and this too Caused more problems when he so called 'Cheated,' I see it as he has no strings with you.
No, I feel as long as he is Free, taking his own 'Space,' he will Continue to do as he wants as a Free bird with 'No Strings' attached. He has to Want to change and Show that he can be Loyal, this could take some work.
Focus on you 'Over the summer,' and with what you have had in your own Heart from the Start, You deserve the Best from the Rest.
Good luck. xx1
- Show AllShow Less