What makes a person become emotionally unavailable?

Also, is sending mixed signals at the beginning of dating a sign of somebody being emotionally unavailable?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Their emotions are shut down due to being hurt in some fashion... a relationship failing, losing a loved one, etc.. It takes time to heal to be available. Basically, they cannot extend their internal feelings to someone else because they are hurting.
    mixed signals could be various things. It should be apparent if you met them if they are emotionally not available.. typically... at least if you try to get close to know them.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Let's start from the beginning. Nothing, not a person nor an event "makes" a person emotionally unavailable. The person him or herself chooses to be emotionally unavailable. I know what I just said sounds lame... But it is very important to understand that. Because once you understand that at a deep gut level you can go on to have the ability to move on to the next level. That being fear. Yes FEAR. Fear of being hurt again. The person in question chooses to be emotionally unavailable because they do not want to get involved because they were hurt so badly at some point in time by somebody else that they live in fear of getting involved and getting hurt again and it is that fear that is blocking their ability to get let's call it entangled again. All of what I said above is very deep. Deep is the wrong word. The better word is profound. Deep sounds too melodramatic. Let's start over. All of the above is profoundly important for it describes a basic human problem and a basic human emotion. Fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of being abandoned which would result in being alone. Fear of being emotionally attached and then cut off and then being alone. How to defend oneself against that basic human emotion of fear of being alone is to not allow yourself to become emotionally attached. All of that equals "emotionally unavailable." So fear of being emotionally abandoned results in being emotionally unavailable and that is a defense mechanism that all human beings have.


What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 7

  • 1They act uninterested in what you have to say
    2 They don't tell you how they feel
    3 They seem detached after sex/only can handle casual relationships
    4 They act like they are masking how they feel
    5 They tell you about horrible past relationships and may have a sexist view
    6 They show little emotion whether good or bad
    7 They could have low self esteem
    8 They might only be able to have rough sex or BDSM
    9 They don't have many close friendships
    10 They have a bad relationship with their parents

  • I'm emotionally unavailable when I'm crushing on someone. Like I'm technically available, but I'm focused on someone already so I'm not available to other people.

    • I won't be doing this in a hurry again, my last crush was just a waste of time. When I thought of all the other opportunities I missed. . . damn it, how stupid of me. Lol

  • They just aren't into you. Best to just move on.
    In my single years I have been uninterested and have had people unavailable to me. I am with the only one that was 100% mutual from the moment we made eye contact.

  • I just don't feel anything and that make me unavailable!

  • usually means they dont know how they feel about you. If a guy is like this with you, steer clear.

  • Possibilities:
    Not interested
    Emotionally unstable
    Heart broken
    Playing games

  • Usually have been hurt by someone/s
    -Some people are good actors and it doesn't seem like they're emotionally unavailable but when you get too close to them they push you away.
    -if they have a crush on someone for a while but get rejected you find yourself shocked by how easily they get over it.
    -break up with someone for what you would consider a stupid reason or lost interest easily
    -if they feel anger or sadness and it's too overwhelming for them they shut down and won't talk
    -some comments they make are cold and possibly even scary
    -smile a lot and may seem bubbly but when they get home they are quiet
    -you find that you talk to them a lot but if you actually think about it you realize you don't know anything about them
    -very awkward when they try to comfort you and will often give the responsibility to someone else
    Yes, I'm speaking for myself

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