Help! I turned him down and he still likes me?

I need some advice... This guy that I work with ask me out about a year ago. I told him that I didn't like him like that and that I liked someone else (which was the truth). After I told him this, he still liked me and still tried up until about 5 months ago when he started dating someone else. He recently broke up with her. He even proposed to her. Ever since they broke up (less than a month ago), he's back to liking me again and he's asking my friends if I am single. So my question is, how do I handle this? I have tried to be honest with him and that didn't work since it seems like he never got over me. I don't like him and I never will (I know that kind of sounds mean but I just don't see him that way).

Should I say something before he asks me out to save him the embarrassment again or just wait and see if he does?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Isn't it a bit strange for him to be rekindling feelings with a girl who he was knowingly rejected by?
    Sure does make you wonder whether he was using his girlfriend; perhaps to make you jealous?

    He sounds very confused, likely desperate for something that may be emotionally out of reach at this stage in life, and quite possibly with a self-image (what defines him) seperated from reality.

    Carefully worded, highly-critical questions may just snap him back to the real world, as in:

    "Do you think I can't decide for myself what I want?"
    "I'm a grown woman and fully capable of reciprocating romantic feelings. Why would I let you decide who I can date?"

    This last one is really good:
    "I understand how you feel, but you have to understand that I just don't share these feelings. Stop treating my life like it's your personal boardgame and start living your own."

    Good luck,
    Hope it works out well for both of ya!

    • Thanks for the advice! I feel so bad for the girl. I didn't even think about him trying to make me jealous. I thought maybe it was him using her to try to get over me which didn't work. Why he took his relationship with her as far as he did I have no idea. Either way, he sure got over her awfully quick.

    • The intention behind waiting is so he doesn't misinterpret your contact as anything but a notice: "Keep it moving, buddy."

      If you care at all about him (as a friend) contact him first.
      If you're just ready to be done with him, wait until he contacts you. This might seem oxymoronic at first glance, but he's already made it clear that this situation is "all about him," that your life should be "all about him."

      He may hate you, afterwards.
      Again, this is him making things "all about him."
      Don't buy into anything.
      You're nobody to him and he's nobody to you (literally, not offensively.)
      Nobody to hate.
      Nobody to love.
      Nobody deserving to be saved or destroyed (emotionally.)
      Nobody to worry about.
      Nobody to talk about.
      Maybe somebody to think about once in a blue moon while smiling or crying, but nothing more.
      Just somebody trying to live their own life.

  • be honest again. eventually one of you will give up.


What Girls Said 1

  • If he tries asking you out, turn him down again. I don't see a problem here.

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