23 year old guy and inexperience catch-22?

Hey everyone, I just felt like sharing and getting some opinions so I decided to post this. I'm 22 now, but I just rounded up since I turn 23 in just a few months and I have hardly any dating/sexual experience and no relationship experience at all. I have only been on one date and only had sex once, which was last summer right before I turned 22. Since then, I haven't done anything else and will probably be turning 23 without having dated or had sex again while I was still 22. I have also never had a girlfriend and even though I have just a little bit of experience in those other ways, I still have no relationship experience. And I know that inexperience is a turn off to most girls, so its a catch-22 because a guy my age can't get a girlfriend simply because he hasn't already had one. I don't think that very many girls would want to be a 23 year old guy's first girlfriend and most girls in my age group have already been in relationships and had sex more times than I have, so they probably want someone with a similar level of experience instead of almost none. They even did a survey poll a few years back that showed 51% of women wouldn't date an inexperienced guy, so I definitely believe that a majority of girls won't date a guy for that reason. It makes me not even want to bother with it anymore because I feel like I would just be facing rejection after rejection because of this. That's why I'm trying to learn how to do without and just accept the fact that it probably won't happen, and its becoming easier to live that way every day. I left this discussion open for girls to respond, but i probably won't take those answers seriously since most girls lie about this and say that its not a turn off and that they would date an inexperienced guy if they really liked him, but that's usually a different story if they met a guy like that in person and some have even admitted to me that they were lying and were only saying that to be nice.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Dude just lie. You literally save yourself the trouble. Girls being able to tell when a guy is a virgin is complete Bullshit. Many guys who are experienced are still nervous and shy and girls claim the guy is a virgin when he's not. And vice versa many virgin guys act super confident and cocky and because of that girls claim he's experienced if he says so. They literally base their judgement on a guy being a virgin or not on whether he's confident or not because they have this stupid logic that experience=confidence. Just lie and fake it they are not half as good at figuring this crap out as they think they are.

    • I would if I could get away with it dude, its crossed my mind several times. I just don't know how to avoid getting caught.

    • Do not bring it up. If they bring it up just say you don't kiss and tell. If they persist just vaguely say a couple of girls. Say between 2-4. Not too many not too few. Don't worry about it. Just read things on how to be sensual. Being sensual is always the safe way to go to seem experienced.

    • I already know not to bring it up, I would never do that. I would probably just say that I've been with a couple girls instead of saying that I don't kiss and tell because that would probably make them suspicious. I'm not too worried about actually having sex since the one time that I did do it, I made her cum twice. I know that it could be better, but I don't think that's too bad for your first time since some guys can't get a girl off at all their first time.

What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would agree that most women think that way. I would suggest not talking about your inexperience and just avoid that convo. Im sure once she gets to know you and you eventually do come out with the truth that it won't even matter anymore bc you have made a good enough connection and also for this reason. The reason that girls want an experienced guy is bc he is liked by other girls and is also experienced in bed. So if you can show her that you are desirable and that you are good in bed then it won't even matter if you have been with a small amount of girls.

    • Yeah, I just think that she'll figure it out on her own though because I think that girls can usually tell on their own wether or not a guy is experienced, so they might break things off without you even telling them. So its like a catch-22 within a catch-22.

  • I'm in the same boat. I have zero experience with women at 26. I literally have no idea how to ask them out, how to initiate physical contact, how to kiss them or anything really. That really hamstrings us when we are usually expected to initiate these things especially if you combine it with below average looks.

    • Yeah its hard because you don't know when is the right time to initiate that contact, too soon and you make things awkward and too late and she loses interest, so you just gotta try and find that sweet spot in the middle. Asking them out can be hard too because its hard to tell wether or not she wants to go out with you.

    • Yeah, we are pretty much incapable of all the things that are second nature to most guys that are past college age, so we don't even know how to get to first base...

  • Welcome to my world man

    • It really sucks, have you been rejected a lot for it?

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    • Yep exactly, but the thing is how's a guy suppose to gain or have experience when women won't even give the man a chance in the first place.

    • Yeah and that's how its a catch-22. They guy above might have the right idea when he says to just lie about it.