Guy wants to talk about our feelings but I don't know how?

Guy friend admitted his feelings for me over text and I told him "I felt the same". He also texted that he thinks we should probably have a conversation about our feelings. We hung out the day after which was a little awkward (1st time alone since he's been single/we've acted more flirty), and he was putting his head on my shoulder and other small things of physical contact, which is nice but I freak out with feelings, and I am worried he will want to move fast physically. I'm not a virgin but I've never done anything with anyone twice or sober so I feel inexperienced (he doesn't know any of that). Anyway he kept mentioning we should have the talk, but that we didn't have to or it didn't have to be right then since we were leaving but it was all up to me.

I'm putting it off bc I'm really bad with this stuff, I've never been in a relationship and I have a lot of anxiety about intimacy and being vulnerable so it is hard for me not to run from this. He just got out of a relationship 3 weeks ago that he barely mentioned to me ever (a couple if us think bc of his feelings for me) which also puts me on edge.

I really don't know what my exact question is, I just don't want to end up a rebound or ruin it with him if I'm not. I've never had this type of talk before so I don't know what to do or say. Most other questions asked about this have the opposite problem of the guy not opening up and the girl wanting to talk so any advice is appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The guy sounds like a keeper. (Is it considered gay if I say that?)
    Anyway just do it. I'm the same for both ends of this. On your half is definitely get it at least over with so you don't worry about if, but on the other he might be waiting and start feeling sad that you aren't talking about it. In other words just talk as its a win for everybody.

    • I agree that he might be. I just get scared and really awkward when talking about feelings, and he seems so at ease with me and wanting to talk while I'm freaking out completely new at relationship stuff lol

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why do you have to talk at all? you've both already said how-to feel so now you can see each other and in time you'll be more comfortable talking about it:)

    • Yeah that's kinda what I said when he texted me again about talking about it, I just said we should hang out more and see what happens, he said that makes sense but then he brought up talking again once we were in person so I don't know what he's expecting us to say

    • Ok well then don't stress it:) he wants to talk so let him carry the conversation Nd answer questions. It's his idea so it's n it your responsibility.

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What Guys Said 2

  • he's gotta be a closet gay... or maybe he's just using that to pry to see what your feelings are... sigh... when you said "i don't know how" i got all excited thinking you don't do the feelings thing too... sad.
    which guy wants to "talk" about "feelings"? or am i the weird one...

    • Haha yeah, I typically feel more like the guy in these situations, aloof, and not comfortable expressing and talking about emotions. I don't see how people do it, too mushy for me.

    • wow... you get me... **sniff**... you really get me...

    • It's not mushy if you have edoeincrbwhich downfalls I you're too cool to do it. I don't think anyone " likes" talking about feelings but they do it out if restrict for the other person and the logical desire, to make sure everyone, is, I'm the same page. It's like the inverse see of playing games. Important adult capability in my opinion.:)

      by the way I say all if this not as if I'm superior. Internally hate talking about feelings and I'm not good at it, but I'm recognizing that's so handicap , sonic working on it. I also don't see that it favors a gender. It's noticeably experience. People withbexperirjce doing it are betterment it than those Who resist or just lack it.

      Also it's not just talking about " romantic feelings". It's structure parameters boundaries. It's discussing things people need to be aware, of in order to rediscovery other and have the possibility of functioning reasonably well for the duration, whether it's long or short.

  • Sorry, didn't read the whole post, it got a little to emotional for me. Why does he want to talk about his feelings? Can't he just make out like the rest of us desensitized mindless drone slaves of a sexually driven culture?


What Girls Said 1

  • I would like to know also how to without making a guy freaking out or blewing you off just because the lady talked about how much she likes him

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