How to get over him & move on?

I really like this guy who is four older than me. We met during my 1st year of college and we automatically hit it off. He is extremely attractive, playful, and has this way of putting me at ease. I'm a shy person & he's the only person I can truly talk to without feeling self-conscious or timid. He goes out of his way to introduce me to his friends & always makes me feel comfortable in new situations which I totally appreciate :) The problem is that all we ever do is flirt & tease each other even though we both know the other is interested. Sometimes he'll even do things on purpose to keep me interested lIke ask to be my date for events but just when we're really about to commit to each other he pulls away. It's really driving me crazy because I don't know where I stand with him. A few days ago I had a fight with my parents & was having an overall bad day and we ended up making out and he talked me out of my bad mood. We just connect on so many levels (emotionally & physically) but he still hasn't asked me out. Whenever the topic of dating comes up, he says he's not interested in being in a relationship but then says "I'm only interested in one girl right now." When I ask him who he just laughs and changes the subject. Is he just playing with my feelings or does he truly like me? Please give me some advice!! :)


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What Guys Said 2

  • Have you asked him out? Does he know your feelings towards him? If the answers to both questions is a "yes", and he hasn't responded accordingly, it could mean he has feelings for someone else whom he is trying win her heart.

    In my last breakup, the following worked for me; it could work for you too.

    # Step 1
    The first thing I do is embracing I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light. Recognising my inability to effect a desirable change is itself relieving.

    # Step 2
    I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.

    # Step 3
    I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting for her to come back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.

    # Step 4
    I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.

    # Step 5
    I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.

    # Step 6
    While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.

    # Step 7
    I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.

  • lol "he is extremely attractive, playful, and has this way of putting me at ease"

    "im a shy person and he is the only person i can truly talk without feeling sel conscious or timid"

    " all we do is flirt"

    "he sill hasn't asked me out"

    "im only interested in one girl right now" When i ask him who "he just laughs and changes the subject"

    Another great example of why the badboys get the sweet girls.

    babe, he is just playing you. move on.

    • I'm honestly not that sweet lol. I just think those are stereotypes that people hold. He's not a bad boy otherwise he wouldn't help me & truly listen to my problems. He's there for me more so than the people that are "obligated" to like friends and/or family. Why would he waste so much tI've doing that when he can easily find a girl who is naturally outgoing and much easier to open up? Serious question

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    • Hey :) I have good news for you! ;) I talked to him about it last night and we cleared everything up. He said he just got out of a really bad relationship so he doesn't want to rush into anything but he asked me out on an official date and we agreed to take things slow :) I think I'll be able to ease him into the idea of eventually becoming exclusive because he said he really likes me and hasn't felt this way about anyone in quite some time. I really like him and hope we're able to overcome all of these challenges together :) I know I'll have to be patient with this one but now I know he's not just keeping me on the sidelines until he gets a better offer. I will take your advice and walk cautiously into this relationship though :) On the other hand, I feel so much better knowing that our feelings our mutual and that he was just a little reluctant to take another chance at dating someone new. Thanks for the helpful (albeit blunt) advice lol :) :P

    • He just goult out of a really bad relationship... like i said.. you should be very careful... asking on a date already? He is probably vulnerable..

      Like i said. Be carefull.

What Girls Said 1

  • He likes you but he is a pussy.

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