Almost 23 and inexperienced with dating/relationships. How to deal with this catch-22 and the hopeless feeling it creates?

Hey, so the last time I posted this, I got hardly any replies so I thought I'd post it again and make it shorter. Basically I'm 22 (turning 23 this August) and I've only been on one date and had sex one time, but never had a girlfriend. And even though I'm not 100% inexperienced, I'm by no means experienced. This is a catch-22 because most girls are turned off by inexperience, but that also means that you can't get any experience. I'm starting to accept the fact that it'll never happen and use vices (alcohol, marijuana, gambling, etc) to cope with that fact. And I left this question open to girls even though I probably won't take those answers seriously since most girls lie through their teeth about this and would likely not react the same way in person versus online.

To clarify, I'm talking more specifically about relationship experience because that is what I would rather have instead of hookups. But lack of relationship experience is just as bad as lack of sexual experience and some girls have said that is even worse than being a virgin.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Not another guy... Who think life is over if they never had a gf!

    • Hey if you were stuck spending your whole life alone, you'd be thinking the same things that I do, probably doing the same things to cope that I do.

    • Show All
    • Its not that bad (:

    • Yeah the weed and alcohol make it easier.

Most Helpful Guy

  • you want to sleep with girls but you are scared they won't do so because you're inexperienced?

    how about you dont tell them that you only had sex once. and let a girl decide to sleep with you out of her own feelings and what not. just have sex with her and try not to make it awkward and act like you know what you're doing.

    its not that hard

    • I would rather be in a relationship, I've already hooked up before and it's not really my thing. I told the one girl that I did hook up with what I was inexperienced because it was a really awkward date and she didn't talk at all even though I tried to get her to talk. Then we went to a lookout point at the beach and she climbed into the backseat and I knew what she wanted to do (because she asked if I had any blankets with me) but I didn't know how to go about doing it and I didn't want to embarrassingly suck at it, so I told her and she still wanted to do it, and I even got her off twice. I've actually given sex advice to a few girls too and they thought that I gave pretty good advice, I even told one of them how inexperienced I was and they couldn't believe it. So I'm not so worried about that, but lacking relationship experience is completely different and girls think that a gut without relationship experience won't be able to satisfy her emotional needs etc.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Why would you want to be with or have sex with someone who lies through their teeth, and who's opinion you won't even want to hear for that reason?
    Nobody wants to be with a debbie downer.

    • Because if you look at polls on here or threads on other sites about this topic, girls almost unanimous answer that it's not a problem. I got suspicious so I confronted a couple of them and after awhile, they admitted that they were lying and were only saying that so the guy wouldn't feel bad, they actually thought it was a turn off. That why I trust other guys more with this issue.

  • I know you will probably not take my opinion seriously, but just because most girls youve come across dont like inexperienced guys, doesn't mean there won't be a woman out there who truly loves that about you. The ones who dont care about your sexual history are the ones who are worth waiting for ;-)

    • They are very few and very far between and I don't think that'll ever happen and I'll just end up continuing to drug myself and spending money at the casino as a coping mechanism.

  • hey life shouldn't be only about having a girlfriend only - focus on a career, find a few hobbies, do volunteer work, get out with friends and who knows u just might meet someone.
    Also ask yourself what do u look for in a female partner/gf? what qualities do u like? what turns u off?

    and remember u have to love yourself first before u can love anyone else, if u dont have any self-respect or love for yourself people cxan see that and it may be a turn off to some. "the one" will come when u least expect it.

    Also why didn't u continue with that chic? she clearly liked u to have "wanted" u... maybe try to get in contact with old friends and see how thingsa go from there


What Guys Said 0

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