A close friend of mine a long time ago came to visit. After 1 hangout, he booked a hotel without me knowing. What is going on? Is it dangerous?

Alright. To start things off, I am transgender from Male to Female. So I'm pretty new to this stuff. I have a pretty bad sense of danger. I'm 23.

Alright. So basically me and him were best friends from 7th grade - 10th grade (until he moved). It has been 8 years since I last saw him. Suddenly, he adds me on FB and wants to hang out with me. He finds out that I transitioned into a girl which was a huge shock to him, but he didn't care. Afterwards, we went on a mini "date". He was super nice and pretty awkward. He bought me an expensive dinner and since I didn't have a sweater he also bought me an expensive sweater so that we could go to the beach. After the beach we were in his car just cuddling (I know super fast, but I still have a little trust in him) Which he gets all touchey feely (Whatever). I tell him that I don't like him like that, and if he wanted to be with me we would have to take it slow. Which he agreed and told me he wouldn't make a move on me and if he did he would ask. Later, he dropped me off and then I went home. Next day, he texted me that he booked a hotel at the Mariott on 5/21/16 (Sat)... I texted back that I was uncomfy with it and he said don't worry, he won't do anything. And he won't cancel since they don't refund... Is there an ulterior move here?

His reasoning for hotel is because he lives 2 hrs away and he doesn't want to drive all the way back.

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  • Possibly not
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Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as he doesn't try to make you go to the hotel with him, then it should be safe. He could honestly just not want to have to drive the full 2 hours back and forth. If he tries to take you to the hotel without your consent, tell him to take you home. If he does not, find someone within the hotel and be sure that they hear you refuse to go to the room with him. They should step in.

    • I don't think he's forcing me directly. However, in my opinion, it might be more of a manipulative way. I'm getting a little paranoid about what's going on. Like him just texting me when we hang out Sat, we're going to a hotel, without even telling me? And then telling me he can't cancel it. He kind of is making me make a decision kinda. But at the same time I'm feeling really guilty if he paid me...

      by the way, thanks. Good idea. Do you think I can tell the person in the front like to add my name in that room in notes, in case I go missing? Now that I think about it, that kinda sounds weird. Gahhh... I dunno... I have no clue. Just... Totally... Paranoid...

    • Show All
    • I'm guessing it's because he doesn't want to like... Go to Disneyland (1 hr away) drive back to my house (1 hr) and then go home (2 hrs). He just wants to go to Disneyland (1 hr) and drive home (1 hr) (Oops I replied wrong message)

    • Alright. So I requested him to go to his house. And luckily, on the door, there's a little lock thingie. So basically, even if he did have another key card, he couldn't go in. He spoils me a lot. However, I feel that he's also trying to control me at the same time. + He never listens to what I have to say. I'd say like 30-40% of the time I get pissed at him, and he doesn't understand why. It doesn't help that he has a transgender fetish either... (Usually it's because he brings up about me having a stick between my legs OUT LOUD in public. And also he just HAS to be right with everything. I have the hugest urge to just use him and put up with him as a "job" But never do anything sexual. Maybe I'm just evil. I dunno ;l What do u think?

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What Guys Said 3

  • i think the rationale is somewhat reasonable. he lives far away so getting a hotel may make sense especially if you guys hang out late into the evening

    the simple solution is that you guys go out and if you don't feel comfortable (which is perfectly fine) you don't go back to his hotel room, which he needs to be ok with. he can't book a hotel and simply expect you to feel super comfortable going to it. that said you could go to the hotel (maybe tell a friend your plans for the evening) and if things are moving in a direction you don't like you just politely excuse yourself.

  • Well if you are uncomfortable, then don't hang out with him in the hotel, only consider him at his word that he lives 2 hours away so this is his home away from home.

    He's the man and should abide by your wishes in the sense of your safety and pick you up and do the date thing, spend time together publicly and then drop you off at home.

    Being friends with him is one thing, the dating is new and until you know how he will behave or what is intentions are for you, keep your wits about you and make him treat you like a woman.

    A woman's safety should be important to a guy and he should do what he can to make her feel safe so that the two people can trust in each other.

    • Thanks. I just got back today. He spoiled me. But he gets on my nerves... So much... It's almost like he's trying to control me by spoiling me -.-""...

    • GUys often do that to show how good a provider he is, if it makes you uncomfortable, tell him quality time together doing regular things is more appropriate. Keep in mind too that no matter what he spends on you it's not an obligation for sex as some guys tend to believe, especially if you didn't ask for anything. Just accept what he has to offer without expectation of return, just be thankful and show gratitude for his generosity.

  • I don't know if its just me, but it seems like a lot of guys are experimenting with chicks with dicks lately. so... he might be in that pot too, and just bullshitting you. who knows though.

    • i totally fucked up lol. you might not even have a dick

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    • Ya. I can kinda agree with this. However, I think your talking about the older generation that usually does not pass. But I'm prettyyyy attractive. Attractive enough to where my best friends (friends) always end up having a crush on me and not know I'm transgender. Not trying to be vain/narcassistic, but I'm pretty decent. XD Lol. So I might have a better chance.

    • yeah im just speaking in general terms, if it works out for you that's great. he already knows you though, so just for this scenario, it may be another general scenario, unless he can actually prove he has grown real genuine attraction and feelings for you.

What Girls Said 1

  • I reckon he only wants to get into your pants

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