I am dating multiple men at the same time to prevent myself from getting hurt and overly emotional on one, good idea? Nothing wrong right?

im 21.
Thanks to some kick ass genes, I have guys after me left and right. However, I'm a really sensitive, introverted, shy person. I don't do hook ups and I am looking for something extremely real. I'm all or nothing. The problem with this is that when I like a guy... He becomes the "chosen one" and I pursue him like no tomorrow. Imagine a soaked rag, and I just ring that rag out til its bone dry. This is only when I am super interested in a guy, and it usually happens very fast... And they never fall for me as hard as I fall for them, or they aren't looking for something serious and just play the game.

this year so far I've been crushed twice. It really hurt, and because I have depressional tendencies, I was mentally really really off. Then I bounce back meaner and more attractive 😏

But right now I'm seeing this one guy, who I am beginning to really develop feelings for but he wants to take it slow and not be exclusive and still meet others since its only been a few times we've seen each other. And he has trust issues apparently.
I feel myself growing attached to him, so my plan to save myself is keep accepting other dates from other men, go out as often as I can and as many times I want with them as well as him.. And maybe I'll like one of them more or maybe not, but I cannot stand to be sitting at home when the guy I'm thinking about 24/7 may be spending time with another girl (s). I don't want to lose myself either. And sometimes being pursued and accepting dates makes me feel more desirable when the guy I'm into isn't giving me attention.

nothing is wrong with this right? It's smart?

  • Yesss, have fun
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  • No, that's not right
    Vote B
  • No, that'll be stupid
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Holy crap are you my twin? Cause that's exactly how I am and what the heck is going on! Haha!.
    But yeah he says he's seeing others too so you have the right to also. Maybe you'll meet even a better guy or just maybe it's not the time yet. I know going with the feelings is awesome but better to save yourself from getting hurt in the mean time since this guy is unsure.


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What Girls Said 4

  • As long as you are completely clear about what you want and also that you're dating multiply people. It's not okay to keep that from people because they should be given the information so they can decide for themselves if they're okay with it. Otherwise, do what you want.

  • I understand that you get involved very easily because you want to get involved. Apparently you like the security of a relationship. Because of that you are asking if it’s okay to date around. Take yourself out of the insecurities of wanting a relationship solo and then ask yourself the question again. Is it okay to date around?
    I am not a relationship person the reason being I think we are all too young to put our stock in one guy when we really don’t know enough about life. I’m still learning am 25 every guy is different every guy is like an undiscovered personality. It’s interesting for me to see how I relate to different people. How I relate. Not the guy the guy is always different it’s me who changes. So I say date around and I think that’s cool. If I may put my advice into you a little strong stronger, don’t date around with another guy available to protect your feelings. Don’t use that other guy as sort of a spare tire. Use that other guy to explore your ability to have a relationship and then date another guy and a third and a fourth. Not only does that protect you in the scenarios that you describe but you learn a hell of a lot about guys and a hell of a lot more about yourself

  • You knew the answer, thus all the question marks. Bad idea. Very wrong. That lifestyle, if it continues, basically guarantees a life without romantic serenity or fulfillment.

  • just be honest

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