How to keep him interested?

I'm not sure why, but everytime I start talking to a guy, after a few days or a week or two he starts to lose interest.

He seems interested in talking and getting to know me. But then after a while I start to feel like he is annoyed. I'm not constantly texting him, I'm busy, I've got things going on. But I do try and talk to him a bit.

I'm not needy. If he is busy, cool! I've got stuff to do. So it's not like I need a response. But I feel like guys lose interest in talking to me not too long after starting to talk.

Anyway, I am not sure what I am doing wrong. I have had this happen a lot in the past few months.

The guy I'm talking to right now, seemed excited to meet me and talk with me. He never asked me out, but then sort of implied he could have came to meet me. I was going to a flea market with my mom (On mothers day!) and I'm worried I disappointed him in not being able to meet him then (I don't think I was being unreasonable). I asked him what he is doing this weekend, and he said he had plans.

The weekend after mothers day I had to work. So I wasn't free. So I'm not sure If I made a mistake or not?

Most of the guys I talk to lose interest and don't make plans or anything. I feel like I have to do all the work. If I don't do all the work, then they don't pursue anything with me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • without going into deep explanations it usually has to do w/ talking too often too soon. well texting, no one talks anymore.

    avoid letting conversations die out on their own and learn to say goodbye explicitly. 20-30 min a day is plenty for the first few weeks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've noticed that too with a lot of these guys nowadays aren't really pursuing us anymore for some reason like they've gotten lazy and want us to make all the plans. I hate that so much. So I don't do it no more. I wait for them to ask me out and have the plans already made. if they ask me when and where we are going and he asked me out, good bye. But yeah you may be busy at times when plans are made and they are not willing to wait and make much effort. They may not like the fact that they don't hear from you much and may think you are not that interested.

    What to do? Send good morning texts at times, call as well and have some conversations on the phone. Be available but not too available. Don't go too long without reaching out even if you are busy. You make time for what you really want to do. Are you meeting them online? guys usually online are not lookin for nothing serious; therefore, if you are not kissing there ass or giving them sex right off bat, they bounce. So just make a few alil changes on what you been doin and see how that works


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What Guys Said 2

  • i have experienced similar things with girls. it is great to see that a girl is taking initiative. i am sure you will find a guy who is interested in you and keeps it that way.

    • I hope so. I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless though. I've been trying hard, and then not trying as hard and trying to give guys a chance to do the pursuing. But I always show interest. But then they seem to lose interest. I just don't know what I am doing wrong. I have been told once when I put in a lot of effort, that the guy only dated me because of that. But he didn't actually care about me all that much (his words). Basically, he used the fact that I was making an effot and showing interest as an excuse to use me :(

    • too bad, i would actually like to date a girl like you. some women play hard to get and it is not fun, they make you do all the work.

  • Try to make him have interset, give him hints that he has a chance with you when you text, losing interest is very common when you dont see the other person regulary so try to make up for it


What Girls Said 1

  • Nah, you're just a naturally busy woman. Just set up a day where both of ya can hang. Just make sure you let them know right from the rip that you are, in fact, a very busy woman. That way: they don't think you're not interested in them. But you shouldn't have to explain to anyone that you are, and the whys and hows. You don't drop your life to make some guy you don't know most important. And as an fyi, texting is meant to drop off a message, and you respond to them when you can. It's not meant to become a primary means of communication.

    • Exactly, like I'm not ignoring them. I will text them daily and have conversations. I just hate it when a guy expects me to be able to text him constantly. I can't really text at work. And I assume most people have the same policy at work.

      But I will definitely make time for them if they want me to! I find I am the one always making time in relationships (even though I'm busier!) and yet they can't make time for me. So I have no idea what to do about that.

    • If they can't make time for you, then they were never really that interested in the first place. If he really liked you, guys go out of their way to make sure they can spend that time.