My best friend likes this guy, but he likes me, and I'm unsure of my feelings but I think I'm leading him on - what should I do?

Hi! Okay, so it's like this. It's long but please read...

There's this guy that my best friend likes (a lot), but he likes me, and at this point I'm already really guilty even though I know people's feelings are beyond my control.

The guy and I have been texting for some time now (I think we text every day...) and he's a really nice guy, and now I honestly think I can see why my best friend fell for him. (Additional info: I actually had a tiny crush on him a few years back but it was only because of something really small that he did to me - I'm talking chivalry. He might not remember that anymore, but I remember, because, duh, we girls can't help but go ba-thump at chivalry, right? Or is it just me?)

Right now I'm unsure of my feelings, honestly. I like him, he's a nice guy, but I don't think I like him as much as he likes me. Maybe I like him as just a friend. I don't know. BUT I feel like I'm leading him on because I have this urge to always be nice to him (I'm nice to everyone, actually) and reply to his texts and I drop compliments really easily and sometimes I feel like I may be a bit flirtatious - it all just comes naturally to me, really, I don't know where to draw the line between being nice and flirty.

Plus, my best friend likes him. And I don't want to hurt her feelings and I don't want to be seen as a backstabbing bitch or something - I value our (best) friendship A LOT. And I value my friendship with the guy a lot, too. I like them both a lot; I don't want to lose anyone. (Additional info: I told my best friend once, that I will never like him - because I respect her a lot - but now I'm not sure anymore... I feel so bad.)

I'm just so confused right now. I don't don't like the guy, but I feel like I'm unconsciously leading him on and at the same time backstabbing my best friend, in a way. I think I may be hurting two people at the same time. Or am I just overanalyzing the situation?

What do you think is the wisest thing I should do now?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Paragraph one you freindzoned him. Then he started liking you. Now you might like the guy your girlfriend likes because your feeling guilty due to your issue that you might be leading him on.-don't be- If he still likes you he would have asked you out by now. Be generous let your girl freind have a shot with him. If it does not turn out well then you might want to go at him. However you will always remember the chivalry issue. I'm still not sure what go ba thump means.
    If you want to talk more about it message me. I'm also in a kind of complicated place right now with my female friends who are all shy and socially inexperienced.


What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should tell your best friend how you feel.

  • Don't just be mean to the poor guy, but let him down easy and try to hint towards your best friend liking him. My best friend likes this guy who I was really close friends with a few years back. But now, I just try to push her into him and I yell her name loudly around him so he looks at her. Try that.