When is it a good time to make it official bf/gf relationship?

I normally don't ask this type of question.

But for this one particular chick:
- I've been ignored 6 years ago (at a professional certification exam hall)... found her over the internet 6 years later (we didn't even know at first... until very recently I saw her phone number in my old phone with text messages asking her out);
- Got rejected a little over a month ago after dating for 4 months... but after the rejection we kept dating and our dates have been a lot more meaningful - we got to know each other a lot more better
- She's much more willing to talk now and is happy when we are together; open to seeing my friends and OK with waiting for me at the finish line in my upcoming tri event

However, I've been turned down twice already. Normally, at this stage, the ball is in the woman's court, but she's extremely passive and this only means I have to seal the deal myself.

I've a few choices:
1. To ask again in 2 weeks when it's her birthday
2. To maintain the status quo (we're not exclusive but have not been seeing anyone else)
3. To not say anything and just assume the we are in a relationship when friends do ask.

She's extremely conservative and traditional FYI. We haven't held hands, kissed or had sex (this won't happen until after marriage I think.. bummers but it's worth it).

When should I verify our relationship? Or more like... should I even do it again? Cos next time I get shot down it's over. Stakes are high for both her and I alike.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would wait a little longer, 6 months is a good time to make it official. What is the rush if you aren't seeing other people anyways? Especially if it will be over after next time you try, make sure you are giving her enough time. If she does not want to make it official after 6 months, then I would wonder if she ever will, 6 months is long enough to know.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • This is a difficult question today!

  • Can you tell me how she "rejected" you?

    • The first time around her colleague (who sat next to me during an exam) tried to hook me up with her. She said she's on-guard when people hit on her randomly. Sent her texts every 3 months asking her out but never materialized.

      6 years later, we met through the internet. Dated for 4 months and I asked her whether she's dating anyone else. She said no. I asked whether we could go exclusive, she said no. I asked why and she told me she doesn't trust me yet (e. g. doesn't know exactly what I do). She told me I haven't given her enough confidence to step outside her comfort zone.

      I figured it all boiled down to lack of communication (our previous dates were food + movies - not a lot of opportunity to talk and she's very secretive... I'm also naturally reluctant to talk about myself unless asked upon). Ever since that rejection a month ago we got to know each other a whole lot better and she is a lot more talkative. She's also more responsive after I told her comm. is a two way thing.

  • When you both don't want to see other people

    • Hey,

      But we haven't seen other people since we started dating! I still got rejected.


What Guys Said 1

  • i dint apretiate much when i had her lost her got her back lost got me back been with her 5 months things are going well id say hang on your in for a rough one