What defines a needy guy?

A guy that is needy is almost never a great thing in a girls perspective. Who want's to be constantly receiving texts from someone demanding attention? But something I'm struggling with is trying to figure out where the line gets drawn as to 'needy'

Because let's be honest, we all need something from our SO. If my girlfriend didn't talk to me for 2 days straight, I would start to feel lonely. Heck maybe even after 1 day I probably would miss her, because I do love her that much. But I would never say that, because I don't want her to think of me as needy. You see where this is going.

I'm just the sort of person who wants attention from people, I just enjoy everyone's presence so much (and especially my gf's) that I just can't help but to be the one who always reaches out and texts first. I've just always feared that this action is going to make people think I'm needy in a bad way, which I don't think I am. I always give everyone plenty of space, and can easily pick up on the "I'm busy" vibe.

But I want to know your opinion, what do you think is right on the line between needy and okay? Would you say wanting to text everyday is needy? Thank you for your responses!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm this is a good question, but it's very dependent on the individual and situation I think. So for me, if I'm just talking to a guy if he keeps messaging me like in a way that's indicative of him being upset that I'm not responding, I'll get annoyed. I remember talking to this dude on Tinder, never met yet, and if I didn't reply in like 2 hours he'd follow up with "?" If it was someone I was dating, I'm all about texting all day every day (if you actually have something to talk about or if you just want to send a cute note) but I know a lot of people aren't like that.

    • Wow yeah, I totally get not liking that sort of clinginess, that tinder dude sounds like a nightmare..

      But I definitely agree with you at the end there, I mean relationships are just so exciting, and obviously you really like the person so why wouldn't you text them every day? That's kinda what I'm going for right now. But I feel like I'm putting a lot more effort than she is into initiating conversation, it's just kinda leaving me with this "I know I need you but I'm not sure if you need me" feeling.

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    • Now, in your opinion, how often do you think couples should get together every week? My girlfriend and I both have school mon-fri so we see each other then but is it too much to be asking her to do things every weekend?

    • Every weekend maybe, yea. Cuz she has friends and family who also want to spend time with her too. I don't think it would hurt to ask but don't be disappointed if she feels the need to split her time

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • You need to stop letting people tell you that there is something wrong with you for feeling attached to your girlfriend. Everyone has their own way of expressing love, and everyone responds to their emotions in different ways.

    You don't need to change yourself. It is only a matter of finding a girl that is compatible. People who are clingy need to find other people who are clingy. People who are independent need to find other people that are independent.

    If you found a girl that was as clingy or even clingier than you, then she would be grateful that you reciprocated those feelings rather than putting you down. She would probably be thankful that you aren't as distant as she would've expected.

    You just need to find a girl who is on the same page.

    • I disagree. I have gotten left for being "obsessive,"...

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    • @HelloEveryone123456

      And that is the average couple. Chances are that it wasn't true love. They probably have very disappointing sex lives, lack romance, and recieve very little affection from eachother.

      They are probably only together because its "normal" to find a partner, settle down, and have kids. They didn't do it because they genuinely loved eachother.

  • I honestly don't know the answer to this...

    To me, the question becomes...

    What do you need? Just a "hi," and have a good day?

    Or do you need babies and marriage? And if you were married, what would you need? Would you both just go to work all day long and come home and eat food in front of each other?

    Better yet... Is there really any way to win this? I think there is and I read it in a book...

    Two healthy people, when entering in a relationship, will be sound and happy with themselves and will become slowly more invested in each other as time goes on...

    The answer, I have no idea...

    • That's a great line at the end.

      "Two healthy people, when entering in a relationship, will be sound and happy with themselves and will become slowly more invested in each other as time goes on..."

      Don't know if that's your work or not but it speaks volumes, to me at least.