How can I kill my shyness?

Srsly, I'm tired of being single, and my shyness is a turn off because girls want confidence.

Basically I want to be confident, and ask out a bunch of girls and not care if I get rejected.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Uhm.

    Everything starts in your mind and then becomes reality, so you need to install the right beliefs into your subconscious. This is the most important thing you can do.

    Try repeating (out loud or in your head) every day in every way I am more and more confident. Say it in the shower, on the way to work, in the supermarket; anywhere.

    You can also try using visualizations see yourself being outrageously confident in social situations, feel how good that is.

    Or try self-hypnosis this is my own favourite technique for embedding new belief systems into your mind.



Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with bacon burger it is something you gain by doing. However you do have to go about it the right way. Asking out a bunch of random girls will only get you hurt and will make you more shy. Try adjusting your posture when your shy. Instead of your arms folded across your chest put them in your pockets and puff out your chest a bit. Or if you have to fiddle put them behind your back military attention style and let your hands fiddle around back there. The best suggestion I can give you is to join a small mixed group. Like a hobby group, college club, a church young adult group. I spent two years Isolated focusing on college and in college unless your an extrovert in class no one really talks to you that much. My social skills dwindled down and I got even shyer than before. I joined my churches young adult group and I took a bit but I got used to talking to women and I made several good female freinds. It took 6 months to a year but I'm not really that shy even then the girl I'm talking to is a 10. That being said I am still shy saying hi to new people. That won't ever go away. The experience helped me a lot because last semester I was in 2 classes that were all female only classes the dudes left after the first day when they saw they were out numbered. While I was freindzoned by all of the women I did not have a problem talking to them because I had become used to it with my female freinds.

    • Honestly I believe my shyness comes from fear of rejection, and I've been rejected a lot of times already but I'm still afraid

    • I get that but going off half cocked will only get you more hurt. Take some time to hone your social skills like any other skill.

What Girls Said 3

  • The best and only way to kill shyness is to face your fears and realize that they're mostly, if not all, in your head.

    • Yea I see that. I can't wait for that great day where I will be able to take hundreds of rejections and just brush them off. So basically you're telling me to just approach a bunch of girls and not let it affect me right

    • Show All
    • Last time I put effort in and got rejected I felt undesirable and started questioning who I am, and it made me feel pretty bad. I just want to not feel like shit

    • The best way to not feel like shit when things like that happen is to work on increasing your confidence and belief in yourself as an individual, not based on your success with women. That means you should pick up some hobbies, start working out or something.

  • You can talk to people online but you can't talk to girls in real life? You just need to talk to them and practice online talking to random people you don't know. That is how I got rid of shyness.

  • Slit your throat that shows guts


What Guys Said 6

  • Really the best way is to face your fears, put yourself in situations were you are forced to combat that shyness and improve upon it.

    For example I never used to be that much of a talker, and I didn't like that about myself so I got a job that put me at a front desk were I was interacting with people all day long of all types, shapes and sizes, it forced me to interact with them and gave me a lot of insight in how to communicate with different kinds of people and because of that I'm talkative now face to face then I used to be.

    You have to do something similar, not so much get a job that forces you to combat shyness but just something that has a similar effect, force yourself to talk to girls or random people, work on being more confident and start not caring so much, do it for yourself not for the girls.

    • My job actually makes me talk to people. My shyness seems to come from the fear of rejectiom

    • Then you need to disable that fear of rejection, same policy as before put yourself in situations that make you combat that fear.

  • Read the following books:
    1. How to win friends and influence people
    2. People smart
    3. Skill with people
    4. Awaken the giant within
    5. The instant millionaire
    6. Psycho cybernetics
    7. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus
    I would not recommend paying for any of the pick-up artist courses. Yes, you may get laid, but you will also turn into a douchebag.

  • Courage.

  • You gain by doing. Confidence is not something you can learn by reading.

    • Give me some exsmples of doing

    • Go ask someone out. And if they reject you, ask them why they rejected you in a polite manger and learn from that experience in order to improve upon yourself. And if they rejected you simply because they didn't like you, learn to accept that then move on to someone else.

    • How can I not feel bad after rejection?

  • Fuck the girls. Don't do it for girls. Do it for yourself.

    • I'm only shy because of the girls, otherwise I'm fine. Basically I fucking suck at taking rejection

    • Why? Most females are physically and mentally lower than men. I would not be afraid of a lower group of people. I would pity them. You should be relax. I guess you have caligynophobia. Fear of beautiful women.

    • I should definitely relax, I don't understand why rejection makes me feel so bad about myself

  • Once you pop your first pussy, you will overcome your shyness mane.