I have a question for you girls and guys about something that I've noticed over the years. I think the vast majority of girls I attract are of the same type. It doesn't matter if they're girls I notice looking at me in public or in bars (yes, by now I can spot they're of that type without even talking to them), girls who approach me in bars or at parties or girls who fall for me after I've known them for a while.
It's a particular type of girl. They can be (a bit) shy or outgoing (some approach me) and below or above average, but mostly average, in terms of looks. What they have in common is that they're very sweet (as in will bake you cup cakes on Sundays), naive (from my perspective), a bit doe-eyed and submissive, very caring and homely, college educated but not intellectual or very ambitious (a good lot of them would probably stop working when they have kids), they tend to have had their lives in good order since they were kids like your typical "good" girl and there's not a rebellious bone in their body. There's nothing really wrong with them and I know a lot of guys are looking for girls like this but they're just not my cup of tea (which I've had to learn from experience). Recently I've come to the conclusion I'd probably be much happier with a stronger, more independent girl who challenges me and is intellectual and ambitious (I really don't care if she can't cook or doesn't look like a perfect 10) but it seems very hard for me to get/hold the attention of such a girl.
So what do you think explains me attracting this type of girl so often?
- This type simply represents a large percentage of girls out thereVote A
- I tend to notice attention from this type more easilyVote B
- There's something about me that attracts this type/scares other types awayVote C
- It's the crowd I hang with/places I go toVote D
- Other (please explain)Vote E
Most Helpful Girl
E -Other. That is, all of the above.
It has to do with your personality and style of communication. It will inevitably attract certain types of people over other types. And, more importantly perhaps, you are ATTRACTED to certain types over others so while you may fantasize about a type you dont' attract, you're not REALLY interested in them and if you did wind up with one, you'd be overwhelmed or bored or annoyed by it very quickly. I'm not the type of woman you date. But i've dated guys like you and my type annoys, frustrates and confuses your type and you inevitably take off and return to the types of people who better suit who you are. And that's all ok!
Look. I've been around a lot and it seems to me that you're attracting the exact type I'd expect you to. You make safe choices, I can already tell that about you. You don't WANT to, but you do. It's who you are. And that's ok too!
But it probably also has a lot to do with the pool you're selecting your partners from too. Those safe choices keep you from reaching out into unfamiliar places to meet people.
So here's my suggestion. Step outside of your comfort zone. Don't try so hard. Stop worrying about it. You're not the type to do those things but if you want to get out of what seems to be a dating rut, you need to. You also need to stop being intimidated by women who are as smart, or smarter than you are. You seem like the kind of person who really wants the world to be aware of your intellectual abilities and this is great! But in being that person, it can be threatening to have a partner who challenges you intellectually because then, that's your identity threatened, innit?1
Most Helpful Guy
We share a taste in women and experiences with sweet, submissive, naieve types. The only common reason I've found was that they make up the majority. These are considered "feminine" traits and most every girl is brought up to have them. Confident, strong willed women who will keep you on your toes are as rare as hen's teeth.1