Why is he suddenly pressuring me to have sex?

I know the answer should be obvious, but I've been dating this guy for four months and right from the beginning I let him know my views about sex (which is that I don't intend on having sex until I'm married). One of the reasons I like him so much is because he respected my decision and never made it seem like a deal breaker. But now he keeps trying to get me to change my mind. I already send him pictures (nothing that I'd be embarrassed about if it fell into the wrong hands) but I think it was a mistake because now he wants more and doesn't want to take no for an answer. I recently found out that all the girls he's had sex with were virgins so I'm starting to think it might be a game for him (maybe because of the challenge?). I don't really know how to handle this situation because I don't wanna do anything that I might later regret. When he came to my house the other day (my parents & siblings were also in the house) he led me to the basement so we could watch a movie alone and we ended up making out heavily which is the farthest I've ever gone with a guy. He just kept pushing for me to do more and although he backed off he seemed frustrated/impatient with me. What is his deal? I was honest right from he start and he knew exactly what he was getting into so why is he acting like he has been deceived? Please explain to me what spurred on this behaviour? Thanks in advance for helping :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • He is no longer respecting your wishes. He is now in the covert you mode. You should be able to choose for yourself when you are ready and when you may or may not change your mind. Letting him change your choice for you will always be just that. He changed your choice. That can become a pattern that could define your relationship. The issue of you changing your choice is bound up in this issue of whose preference goes. I think ideally each partner should respect the other partners choice, no ifs ands or buts. That's it. Choice is respected. Why not make that totally clear and see what he does. If he agrees to let you choose, he has shown some value in his opinion of how he plans to relate to you. He can still joke with you about the decision and not necessarily not respect your choice. But if he flatly refuses to accept a no and pushes you to change constantly. Well, I think you have seen a version of what it will like to stay with him. Your choice if you want that.

    If you can imagine that in a year, you might change your choice, then you can tell him that.

    There are guys who can understand and let you choose when it's right for you. They may not be as bold, and sometimes being bold is what women find attractive in guys. You may actually be drawn to the type that is likely to put you on the spot.

    Hope that helps.

    • Your answer was extremely helpful & not judgmental at all :) Thank you! I just need to figure things out and see where we both stand with each other. If he doesn't respect my decision then I guess that'll be the end of us but I can't know unless we actually talk about it. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it & he really means no harm. Wish me luck and I really appreciate your guidance! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • There are guys out there who have fetishes for virgins, I'm not saying he does, but specifically going for virgins and trying to change their minds is a bit fishy.

    I think he always intended to change your mind and assumed he could pressure/persuade you into it. I say you check this guy and let him know that if he doesn't stop, you're out.

    • Thanks for answering my question :) I can see what you mean and it does seem suspicious that all his previous girlfriends were virgins as well. I just don't wanna be another girl he took advantage of so I guess I'll really have to think about all this. Thanks again :)

    • No problem. Good luck.

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What Guys Said 1

  • it ks a game and if you got proof of it , you will jsut be another notch for him, so unless you just want to be another "girl" for him to think he took advantage of i suggest you stand your ground with him and he can find an easier girl if he thinks your gonna give in to pressure.

    • I really hope you're wrong but I guess it's the most logical explanation. He was so much kinder and understanding in the beginning so the change was very unexpected. It just really sucks because I really like this guy and was hoping we could turn into something more serious :(

    • Show All
    • I'll definitely be careful from now on. There's no way I'm going to do anything sexual with him now that I know that it's just a game to him. Hopefully we can turn things around but if not then I guess I'll have to move on and get over him no matter how much it hurts. Thanks again for your help! :)

    • your welcome and just be safe and have a good day

What Girls Said 1

  • He was always planning on trying to change your mind.
    He wants sex, you don't (until marriage). This won't work.

    • Why do you think he was always planning on changing my mind?

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    • Yeah, most people who only want sex tend to become impatient after a while. Just dump him and find someone who's on the same page as you.

    • Aww, thank you :) I guess it can't work out if we both want different things