Online dating messages?

I have seen thousands of posts on the internet claimming girls would get hundeads of messages in their inboxes a day. But for me, it isn't the case at all.

I would receive like dozens a day and then just a few after a few months.
I do have pics and well-written profile.

I'm really curious, is this my problem? Because I'm not look-looking?
Does any girl doing online dating have similar situation?
Guys' opinions are appreciated too :)

PS. I'm dating someone now so I asked this question purely out of curiosity not fishing for any attention lol
Grils, what are your experiences?


Most Helpful Guy

  • multiple reasons.
    1. your age bracket is in the 30s while girls get the most messages in their early to mid 20s

    2. you probably have boring pics

    3. you're Asian and look Asian. nothings wrong with that but when it comes to dating some people are kinda racist and will overlook other races unless you are particularly hot or dont look the race you are.

    4. depends on where you live. if you live somewhere like new york your inbox will always be jumping but somewhere less popular after a while it won't so much.

    5. depends on what you said in your profile. many guys are on dating sites looking for a lay if you make it clear you dont want that you drive most of those types away reducing your message count.

    in the end i think you shouldn't focus on how many messages you get just focus on finding a suitable partner.

    • Nice input :)
      I agree most of your points especially 1, 4, 5.
      I just don't know being an Asian is something negative for online dating? :(

    • Show All
    • yeah i know from experience it sucks a lot. im black and i haven't gotten a message or reply from a white girl ever (unless it was strictly to be friends). so i dont even bother messaging them anymore.

    • thanks :)

What Guys Said 7

  • Hmm, maybe the dating site you joined is not a "big name dating site".

  • Its not your looks. Maybe its the profile.

    • Thanks :)
      Perhaps. But I didn't write crazy things that will scare guys away lol

  • its alright, dont worry when the time will be right it will happen

  • A few dozen a day, and you're complaining? How many men do you need? Sweet Jesus. Make a male profile on that site, and check your response level. That'll give you something to ponder over!

    • I'm NOT complaining, I just wanna know why is the difference.

  • dont compare yourself to other women... its not worth it.

    • I know what you mean, but I'm just really curious about the reason.

    • i think some men just send countless messages to women because they dont take these women serious.

    • I sometimes doubt whether guys on those sites serious or not lol

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What Girls Said 2

  • Just because your profile is well written doesn't mean every man is going to message you. Mine is well written, too, but it talks a lot about watching my diet and working out. A guy who values Netflix, pizza, and soda isn't going to message me because I'm not like that.

    People have to find you attractive AND interesting, not just one or the other. What you're looking for in terms of age, height, and ethnicity could be a factor, too, and distance.

  • No clue. You're actually pretty good-looking. Maybe it's your age bracket?