I've noticed something- im a really nice female- nice to guys, kind respectful etc. I also happen to be really hot or pretty. Guys don't seem to appreciate who i am at all and really just treat me badly or disrespect me. I've even dealt with guys who say they want someone who's more 'controlling' and im not that way at all. I believe in an equal partnership. Guys say they want a nice woman and someone who wants them but I can say that i can't find any guys who want that. Most guys treat me like dirt, are rude, disrespectful etc. Im kind pretty smart and down to earth- they don't care. It seems that cuz i am nice, they take advantage of that. A lot of my dates are nicer and friendlier to 'other women around' than to me. They treat me oddly, make me feel uncomfortable, do rude or stupid things to me, and then if i even slightly object in the most polite way, they get offended and ditch me.
Most guys will do the rudest things to me, or even get in my space, act intrusive, one even tried to sabotage a bowling game we had last night b/c I was about to beat him. Some are nicer to women around- and with me aren't friendly at all and they like to treat me like somethings wrong with me. It feels like b/c im nice to men, they feel they have the upper hand and use my kindness to abuse me. Should women in this case be b*tchier meaner or act more arrogant towards guys? It seems no matter how I act, most guys are rude to me. One guy recently- 1st 2 weeks was praising me, telling me how amazing I am, but kept standing me up too. If i got upset, he threatened to stop talking to me. Finally, he slowly began to stop talking to me, and tried to control the situation. How can someone turn this around... be more assertive? act differently?
Most Helpful Guy
How do you act when they make you feel uncomfortable or act in a disrespectful way towards you? It sounds to me like you just put up with too much shit.
For example the guy standing you up a few times, you're trying to turn that around and you're worried that he'll stop talking to you - why? It should be the other way around, he should be worried about still being able to talk to you after that.
It isn't that you need to be arrogant or mean, but you need to have boundaries and make sure people respect them, and if they don't, you cut them off, you don't worry about them leaving after being assholes towards you. That's your problem.2
Most Helpful Girl
You can't be nice to everyone. Every one does not deserve your kindness. This is a harsh world out there and everyone doesn't have the same heart as you. Not everyone follows the golden rule of DO UNTO OTHERS. Some guys and girls will look at you like easy prey and think they can get over on you.
Learn to be more outspoken and assertive. Once you notice that someone is being disrespectful to you check their ass right then and there. If someone "threatens" to stop talking to you? So what? Fuck them. if they want to exit your life then open the door and tell them to walk.
As long as you go through life being overly nice and doormattish you will constantly get bullied and tried. It's 2016 most guys do not like nice girls. Nice sweet women get abused and mistreated the most. Toughen up and learn when to put on that bitch hat. Save your soft side for a good man once he's earned it, NOT most guys you dont really know.3