Ok... here's the short version, believe it or not.
I'm 27. This beautiful really unique 23 year old girl just moved in across the hall a month or two ago. We met whens she moved in, and talked a few times for just short elevator rides. She slipped a note under my door the next morning giving me her number and asking me if she could use my internet... honestly it was probably just for the internet.
We texted for a little while, and she didn't seem rude but she certainly wasn't head over heels. I asked her out for sushi and she said maybe later because of her financial situation at the time. Than I asked her out for coffee a few weeks later. We went out and got along I think really well. It seems like she's an amazing person.. which is the most important thing to me at this point, as you'll see in a second.
Here's the catch. I'm going to the mayo clinic in a few weeks, and if they can't figure out why I have scars on my lungs and both my liver and kidneys are failing this is prolly going to be my last summer, which along with my last job made me really introverted and very particular about who I spend my time with, and she seems like the type I'd really like to get to know. What I have is called a metabolism error which just means an enzyme doesn't work properly, and a toxin builds up that most people would just turn into something useful for the body. I played basketball at a high level so that held off the serious complications, but after a serious injury in 2011 my health plummeted.
I was always confident with girls, but to be honest I pretty much relied on sports for that.
So this is my question...
How do I go about this? The male ego in me doesn't want to pull that "please feel sorry for me" card, and plus that would make anything that developed inauthentic.
But how do I get across without coming across as desperate that I just genuinely want to get to know her and be close to someone? And not just easy sex without coming across as desperate and clingy?
Most Helpful Girl
Maybe you can try starting off as friends for now? It might be cruel to have a girl fall for you knowing you may not be here in a year from now. Develop a strong friendship with her and then eventually you can tell her what's going on. Then work on developing something romantically. Don't be worried about the "friend zone" it's possible to get yourself out of it if you fall into it. I fell for my neighbor who lives 3 doors down the hall for me. We started out as friends for 6 months and then started a relationship, were now going on a year, so it's definitely possible.1
Most Helpful Guy
i agree with you on not telling her to begin with-you don't want anything fake or sympathy-based.
just go for friendship first id say; if it turns into something, great, and if not youve got a good friend (but be wary that she doesn't fall for you too hard before you tell her everything-let her know before anything gets too serious)0