I've barely seen him this weekend but, when we're together, he's as tender and loving as ever. Is he thinking about leaving me?

We've been dating for a month now and have been official for a week. When we're out in public, he is not afraid of PDA and sometimes rubs it into other people's faces. But, this past 3 days, he's been "busy" and "tired" so he hasn't spent that much time with me. Yesterday, I didn't hear from him at all until 7 pm. I was upset because of it and I was expecting him to give me the talk and tell me it was over (I've had guys dumping me that way before: give the silence treatment and then ditch me). He showed up later, all happy to see me and all, but I couldn't hide my concern. I told him about it and he promised he would not do it again. I was scared he was gonna tell me he's leaving me. He took me on a walk to a mini botanical garden on our campus (I have been dying to go there for a long time) and we spent a few hours there talking and walking around hand in hand (I know, cheesy, right?). He was being romantic and tender and nice. But I still get that gut feeling that something is going on... My friends tell me not to worry and that he's crazy about me, but I can get rid of that fear that he would leave me like the others before. We texted a bit today while my phone is usually flooded with Snapchats about his day, text messages asking to see each other, etc. He took forever to answer and he said that he might "pass for today" because he is "so tired" and wants to "go to bed early".
What do you guys think?


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What Guys Said 2

  • What's his job like?

    • He's in construction management. He works full-time and is an on-track student as well. He told me he has a lot of homework this week. I considered that and it makes sense that he would be tired because of all of this. But he's been doing that even before we met and it's only last week that I started having that gut feeling...

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    • He came over yesterday because I sounded angry over the phone (while I honestly was fine, just tired) and we talked and I figured out what was wrong. He is having problems with his roommates (they don't clean and just do nothing to make the living together enjoyable for everyone) and it made him really upset and concerned. I told him that I could feel it when he was with me and that I thought he was mad at me. He replied that he wasn't and that he was sorry.
      Well... it was just my bad overthinking again ^^'

    • Well there ya go. Glad it turned out alright. One of the hardest things to teach yourself is not automatically jumping to the worst conclusion when things are wrong. It can be as small as when something of yours goes missing and you assume it was moved by someone else or stolen. Only to find it later and recall that it is where you last left it. Or it can be as big as your recent emotional turmoil. As humans we are prone to negativity bias (remembering the bad 2x as well as the good and expecting bad before good). But if you can over come it, you will have a lot less stress in your life. And it starts with recognizing when it is at play.

  • If you are a really interesting person and that he leaves your company enriched, wiser... has perhaps learned something new from talking to you... and you add a lot to his life compared to the millions of other girls out there then you have nothing to worry about.

    if on the other hand all you bring to the table are looks and sex then...

    • Well, he compliments me a lot about my looks.. but, to me, there's more than just the thrill of having a regular"partner". I do not know if he learns from me, but I learn a lot from him and I could listen to him talk for hours.
      Is the "and you add a lot to his life compared to the millions of other girls out there then you have nothing to worry about" part a statement or a question?

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    • There is nothing you can do (you can't change how others act). After you noticed ''guys dumping you after the silence treatment'''

      You should have tried to see why this pattern occurred..

    • I do not see why it happens. As far as I know, I'm not clingy, super insecure, annoying or burdensome... I did not talk about long term commitment either. So I do not see why that pattern might happen. Maybe I just attract shallow and indecisive guys..!

What Girls Said 1

  • You sound sort of needy. You want to keep talking to him all the time but you have to realize that people have other stuff to do as well.