How can a socially awkward man date?

So yeah, the question is self explanatory. I am not bad looking, but I am socially awkward and my experience with dating has been minimal because I don't know how to approach women, and am too nervous.

Socially awkward women have no issues, since they still get approached by men. But since we men need to do the approaching, it's like those of us who are either shy or have trouble interacting socially, are kinda left behind. Also, my race is a factor as well (I do not wish to elaborate, but lets just say men of my race are not usually preferred by women of ANY race).

Any solutions? I'm almost 30, and although I'm not 'desperate' to date, I do occasionally feel lonely.

I need more responses please!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe you are setting the bar too high for yourself. If you know you are socially awkward and approaching is an issue, its usually just fear of intention. Clear your mind, start low. You don't have to date every woman you see, sometimes just make a friend. It is way easier to approach when you aren't scheming some plot in the back of your head.
    start by making a friend who you can get comfortable with and before you know it, you will realize they are just human too and possibly relax... repeat as many times as needed.

    • To be very honest.. I have a bit of trouble making friends too, irrespective of gender. I am a kind of loner, and I have lived most of my life this way. I think the first step should be to start making male friends, then female, and finally attempt to romantically approach women. But considering my current level of social confidence (too low), I'd probably be a 60 year old man before I can accomplish all this. :(

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    • Race could sometimes be an issue but you can break through that, i mean, you've had to talk to a few people before, it can be bypassed. You sound educated enough to pass off as being educated, its not like anyone will be asking you how many degrees you have acquired. There is always a common interest, always, you just have to find it via conversation. Some people on here agree that starting a conversation with a compliment or observation is usually good. you might not have to have anything in common to start one. a simple observation (even if its a lie) works just as well.

    • thanks for MH

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What Guys Said 3

  • Dude lolol. I'm the KING of social awkwardness.
    And my race isn't preferred either. What's yours? I don't judge.
    And if I can get a girlfriend, dude you totally can too

    • I am Indian, and I live in a region of Europe where my race is the minority.

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    • No way man! We Indian men are worse because the Indian media has been spreading tales about ALL Indian men being rapists and perverts. So it's like women are actually scared of us (although I am personally harmless, and wouldn't even hurt a fly).

    • Hm. Never heard of Indians that way before. In fact most Indians are against rape and that sort of thing

  • Get your shit together and stop making excuses

    • What to do you mean my getting my shit together? Social anxiety is a mild form of mental illness, it's NOT an excuse.

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    • Women are not beyond you. Get that out of your mind. As you gain from life you will gain the acceptance of your life.

    • Thanks! Maybe once I am better positioned with respect to my career and overall quality of life, maybe women won't feel 'unattainable' any more.

  • Learn how to find and approach real shy girls...

    • Shy girls will choose confident guys. Why would they choose me?

    • Show All
    • Really?

    • Yes,

      They don't want an overly confident out going guy,

      They want a normal guy, just like you... Just try to find shy girls...

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