Ever since we became official, I've felt he has pulled back a bit?

Maybe it is in my head, but he is taking a good bit longer to reply to my messages and I have definitely noticed. It seems like we got really close and he's pulling back a bit.

For example, tonight was really the first night that I had to reschedule a date (I got stuck on a long errand hours away and realized hours in advance that I couldn't make it back into town in time for us to hang out, so I text him) and he said something about understanding I had my hands full and not wanting to add to the stress? I thought that might have some hidden connotations, like he felt like I was neglecting him or that he was stressful to me.

Anyway, he seemed fine and understanding, despite that sentence that caught my eye. He proposed that since we weren't going out until tomorrow night, that we talk on the phone tonight. I text him back within 20 minutes and told him I appreciated him understanding, tomorrow would be much better, and that I would love to talk on the phone, however it would probably be around 9 before I got home, as I was detouring and stopping by my parents (my grandfather isn't doing well and I wanted to see them for a bit).

He didn't answer me until 5 hours later, an hour before we were supposed to talk. I didn't have service on my way home, so as soon as I got home (20 minutes after 9:00), I text him and told him I was driving like a granny through the storm, which is why I was 20 minutes late, and asked if he was still up for talking on the phone.

He waited about 20 minutes to text me back and said he had a headache and was about to lay down, and asked "if it would be okay if we just talked if we see each other tomorrow?"

That last part stuck out to me... if we see each other? Is he being this way because I had to postpone our date? I just find it funny that he mentions talking on the phone, but then conveniently has a headache?

Now, he just text me because he can't go to sleep and wanted to know if I was still up to talk. Really? 😑


Most Helpful Guy

  • He wanted to talk when he wants to. I think maybe he feels your calling all the shots and he is letting you know he will not always do something that you say. Yes it's very childish and immature. He seems to be mirroring your actions. You have a reason not to see him and hang out he has a reason for not talking on the phone when you got home. But texts you late to talk on the phone because it's convenient for him. I hope he doesn't keep acting weird on you and treat you like this. That isn't fair or right.

    • But, that's how he likes it, ya know? He is very indecisive and passive. I agreed to be in a relationship as a means to please him because he was ready before I was, but also because I really like him and was finally ready. It hasn't all been about me. I think he's trying to mirror my actions too, which suggests he was upset by me having to postpone our date, but didn't come out and say it.

      He apologized and said "I'm sorry" with a sweating and smiling emoji after he asked if I was still up, so maybe he sees how wishy washy his actions are? I didn't respond and let him think I was asleep because I was still mulling over the situation.

      Should I ask if he was upset by me having to cancel? Or, should I let it blow over?

    • Show All
    • Wow that is really nice.😃 Im glad you and him talked things out. Wow lol you know him so well and know what he feels and thinks. True communication is so important. He needs to let you know what he feels. Im glad it was talked about and discussed.😃

    • Thank you very much for selecting my answer as the most helpful opinion.

What Guys Said 1

  • He seems to be all over the place, lying. I'd say dump him. He's playing games with you.

    • Normally, I would agree, but this guy actually seems to be a good guy and hasn't done anything else to raise my eyebrows. He's very indecisive and so am I. Last Sunday, I told him I needed some alone time, but then realized I was sad because I wasn't going to see him and called him up to go to the zoo. I wasn't playing games with him, so I don't know if I can be so quick to judge his actions as severe. I think he doesn't know how to tell me that he as upset that I postponed our date and so, he decided to postpone on me and then changed his mind. The fact that he apologized in his last message that asked if I was still up to talk, suggests that he sees how wishy washy his actions were.

    • These are his last two messages:

      "It's all good! I'm just glad your okay. 👍 I'm actually about to lay down. Got a bit of a headache, and I'm refusing to take medicine for it. Hahaha 😂 I would love to talk to you but, Would it be okay if we just talk tomorrow if we see each other?"

      "So, um, I can't sleep. Lol Are you still up to talk? I'm sorry 😅 "

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