Men from 25-35... how has your dating life changed over time?

Just have a general curiousity. Most of the men in my family all settled in their early 30s.. and they had a lot of sex in their 20s. I feel like the dating game at my age is set up for women to have the advantage. I don't use that as an excuse by any means though.. just my observation. I work hard at university and I'm progressing in bodybuilding.. I put a lot of effort in my physique. I can get laid without any issues and have girls approaching me a lot.

My thoughts though.. Once I reach mid to late twenties.. I'll be more established.. will of graduated college and be working as an engineer. I'll have have my own place.. will much more money.. a nice car.. nicer clothes.. etc. Also.. the thing about bodybuilding is that you get more attractive as you age into these years because your physique develops and matures. My goal is 240 lbs relatively lean by my late twenties. I have strong ambitions to get known in fitness industry and I'm going to have my image professionally marketed through instagram and social media once I start competing. I did the instagram thing before but ended up pussying out when I actually acquired a following. I feel like I'll be much more attractive at that point in my life in every way. I'm not trying to subtlety brag... these are just my plans.

I feel like women start getting a bit more thirsty as they start approaching their 30s while men seem to be prime at that age assuming that he graduated college and took care of himself.

My question..
Has your dating life improved?
How has the dynamic changed?
Where do you meet single women after college?

If you're some weird socially awkward virgin at this age then I really don't want your opinion plaguing my perception lol. There seems to be an overabundance of those type people on here. I'll add a little poll on this question.

@consultantisback Figured I'd have to tag you bro ahaha. Waiting for your answer.

  • It has gotten better (explain why)
  • It has gotten worst (explain why)
  • I'm a woman and I'm curious to see answers.
  • I'm a younger man that is curious to see the answers.
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • I was going to answer but:
    "If you're some weird socially awkward virgin at this age then I really don't want your opinion plaguing my perception lol. There seems to be an overabundance of those type people on here."
    Lol harsh

    • I know you said "men", but you left the option open for women, so free experience for me! :)

    • Show All
    • Lol savage. You must be pink anon.

    • Nope lol I'll tell you what I feel about you straight up.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I'm married. You'd think that means you're sexually dead, or undesirable (or at least off limits) to other women. But, quite the opposite.

    Note: I wouldn't disregard guys' opinions who are virgins, inexperienced, etc. Those guys are part of the marketplace, and it's important to be aware of what other alternatives/options women have, and where and why they get certain ideas about guys.

    Anyway, when I was younger, my sex life was pretty much like what yours sounds like. Eventually, you get bored of sex. If anything, I felt like things were stacked in girls' favor when I was under 21. After college, "status" > "beauty." Beauty didn't pay the bills. Beauty didn't send kids to better schools. Beauty didn't give you a sense of security, especially as people get older. Money, on the other hand (and the value of your network), did.

    In high school and college, guys are chasing validation. After college, girls are chasing status and security. It's not always financial, often times, it's just social. They want to be married, a mother, have a family, have a house, be on social media advertising to their friends how awesome their life and children are.

    That comes at an age where they want sex like crazy, and guys' testosterone levels are ranking (as their stress levels are skyrocketing). So, the need/demand/desire guys have for girls goes down (around the same time that the need/demand/desire women have for men goes up).

    It's like you're at a bar and Nature is yelling, "LAST CALL! Closing in a fews years!"

    When single women see a ring on the finger, there's a split. Most single women don't go there. But, many of them do. They don't care. They think, "He'll prefer me to his wife." I don't get it, all I know is that it happens. They see the house, the car, the lifestyle, and think, "I want that." All of a sudden, "I want that" turns into "I want him." Makes no sense, but it happens.

    The joke is, now that we're older and could care less about the pussy, how are all these single women going to get the kind of lifestyle they want? Again, not talking about money, just "social." Look at their options and alternatives (single guys 35-45). When I get more excited about Word 2016 than a girl in a mini skirt, there is just like no hope for girls lol. So, if you feel it's ever in favor of girls... itgetsbetter. org (but you could care less when it gets better lol)

    • That makes a lot of sense. It's stressful transitioning into that new chapter into adulthood. One moment I'm thinking that it will be great and I'm excited to get there as I described above and other moments I'm thinking my youth is slowly slipping away. Most people that know me think I'm living like a rockstar. I often think that I'm wasting a lot of my youth by putting too much emphasis into my studies and bodybuilding. Not much of a social life anymore.. I use tinder to find pussy and occasionally bounce at nightclubs and events.. meet a lot chicks that way.

    • Show All
    • So, your "power" to pick and reject is stacked in your favor after you break that 27+ mark. Whereas for women, after 23, it's tough. The selling point of their looks is not just lower, but men in general are no longer as interested. So, their bargaining power and options suffer a double whammy. If they haven't "sold themselves" or entered into a long-term contract or secured a commitment (before the guy snaps to his senses), it's a steep uphill ahead.

      Every person is different. But generally, with women, it's social face. A lot of them are competitive with other women, and want to have a better social image. They want other women to be jealous of them and envy their lifestyle. That's what it basically boils down to. Vacations, cars, homes, jewelry, romantic gestures, look at how much my man cares about me, loves me, look at what I can enjoy and have, etc. The problem is, that's what they "want," but, what do men "want?"

    • Unless they've secured a guy by a certain age, how are they going to "trade"? She wants X from a man, and the man that can give her C wants what from her, exactly? At 18, it was sex. Now, what is it? Nothing really. Just a long-term partner. But there are plenty of women who can offer that, very well, with very few things they want in return. So, as men get older and want less and less from women, they have so many options (they're just not interested). As women get older and want all these things, and all the men who can give her what she wants are taken and single ones are very very few (but they still want and care about these things). So, there's a bargaining power disparity, that most men aren't even interested in exploiting. Something to think about. Sure, things will be much easier for you the older you get, but so what? You're not going to be as interested in women anymore by then. You'll care about other things way more.

What Girls Said 1

What Guys Said 6

  • It's really improved:
    -Shy af, average af loser in high school
    -Everything changed once I got to college
    -Got fit, confident and banged away accordingly
    -After uni, you start focusing more and more and more on Quality over Quantity
    -Now that I have this house and everything except relationships is lined up I'm really narrowing in on priorities to find the right match, highest quality to be long-term and to settle down with.

    So I'd suggest 2 things:
    1. Stay humble in fitness. Yeah we're like 98th percentile of all guys you see, but the fitness industry is SOOO brutally competitive, just like modelling. I was so prideful going into my first physique show, then I got on stage and got my ass handed to me. There's thousands of amazing physiques out there.

    2. Work your fucking ass off in school, get your GPA up, do internships, nail a solid career. It'll really set you on the right trajectory for dating quality women after college.

    Good luck brother!

    • Thanks brah. I realize that it's pretty brutal.. Have seen some guys go off the deep end after constant losses in the competitive world. Still deciding if I'm going wait till after uni to compete. Always studying man.. kills my social life though.

    • Yeah really prep for competing, hire a posing/dieting coach, plan it out months out. Minimum 12 weeks to cut, MINIMUM. It's so taxing on you, mentally

  • I was a late bloomer, so my younger dating years sucked, I was also fat and short. Then I blew up to 6'3", started working out regularly. I'm no mister universe but I get my stares.
    Of the women that are still single at around 30, they are a bit more open then they were when they were younger, as they are starting to realize their options are thinning. The older guys can still get younger women, where the older women have harder times with younger men.
    I got in a discussion with a women, before I got with her, that they are at the horniest at this time. They begin to pursue you.

    I had a couple women that I really liked in my younger years that suddenly came around, I used them like they used me earlier in life. To each there own.

  • well, there's really not much jto say. a guy's peak value is mid 30s, a lady's early 20's. with that out of the way i wouldn't say dating life gets better as it's all relative.

    you have to remember for every new gal's eye you're catching as you come into your prime, is not without counterbalance. you're also losing the interest of a girl who no lolnger believes you're obtainable.

    in short, the range is wider, and the limits are higher.

    @mmyskittles thanks -------------------------------------

  • Guaranteed better i imagine every chick you cross under 25 wants to bang your brains out. That'd be real fuckin nice for a change.

  • still as nonexistant as my neck.

    • ahahah. You can laugh at yourself which gives you a huge plus. If you got any questions about the weight loss feel free to shoot me a PM.

  • I'll throw my comments in, I was a tiny bit socially awkward, didn't date a ton, but did date a few attractive girls in my teens and 20s and got married pretty young.

    I get flirted with and hit on more by attractive 20-something women now then I did when I was 23.

    If i'd had your physique then, i'm not sure that would be the case. I suspect that young women who like young men tend to like guys who are ripped, where young women who go for other things tend to like older guys who are confident and have their shit together, which is what I became.

    I'd guess for someone like you, dating in some way is as 'easy' as its gonna get, and as you get older, the opportunities to meet tons of hot young women decrease. But you'll be as in demand, or more, among the women you DO meet, assuming your career doesn't crater.

    The shift by the way is simply supply and demand. Because a significant chunk of young women date up age wise, while not many young guys do, it means there are more single guys than single girls in that age range, but more single women then single men in every other.

    Oktrends has published graphs on this, the crossover point in terms of interest is around 27.