How do I handle a situation where I have 2 females to choose from?

Let's call the girl I grew up with "Sam" and my current girlfriend "Rachel". Sam and I haven't spoken to each other in 6 years. When we were kids I'd be the one to usually gaze at her, protect her, and just simply wanted to see her happy. Pretty much she was one of the people I used to hang out with the most. Before she moved to Arizona and lost contact with her I remember having a conversation about how she felt about me. She appreciated everything I done for her. I spent most of my time trying to find her but I just didn't have the luck so I quit. 6 years later she had to go through my sister accepting her friend request just to find me. A month after she had added me I sent her a message. That same night when I first contacted her I noticed that she had posted a picture of herself with the caption "All this time and it's still you" with a heart. I honestly did miss her and thought about her. She went to the extent to contact one of my old friends I haven't spoke to in a while just to try to get a hold of me. If she really went to the extend of doing so than it really makes me wonder how I quit but she hasn't. I'd like to just tell her everything I thought about her but I feel like it's too soon.

This current girl I'm seeing haa been my so called "lover" for 2 years. The thing about her is that she just confuses me so much, I've tried asking her to be my girlfriend but she makes excuses. I really do care about this girl but she hasn't made an effort to move forward and become more than just flirt buddies. Her and I have been through situations that not a lot of relationships could have handled. Yet she still is too afraid to become my girlfriend after everything we've been through.

Now I don't know which girl to choose, the one whom I grew up with or the one I've been patiently waiting for 2 years now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • To me this is less about this childhood sweetheart, Sam, and more about your relationship with your current girlfriend, Rachel.

    Sam is going to be kind of a fantasy of something better. You haven't dated her and gotten to know her in this kind of context. Your imagination is likely going to be better than the real deal.

    I think your relationship with Rachel is really all that matters at the moment, since if you're even slightly tempted to leave her every time you're faced with the prospect of finding something better (which could be a mere illusion at times), probably you two weren't meant to be.

    • I guess from a certain perspective you are correct about some things.

    • There are always going to be more promising prospects. Childhood sweetheart is kind of a hardcore temptation, but imagine if you were married to Rachel. If you're heavily tempted to leave Rachel just because Sam found you, then probably you should have never been with Rachel. It's not because of Sam, but because the relationship was never strong enough to withstand these kinds of obstacles.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would go with Sam. She went through all of this just to find you. She obviously did it for a reason. And it doesn't seem like you and your current girlfriend are going anywhere, so maybe you just aren't meant to be. I would give it a try with Sam and see how it goes. Maybe your meant to cross paths.

    • Sam is definitely a very sweet young lady, although the thing is that I'm not quite sure whether she'd be willing to be in a long distance relationship (she moved out of state). At the moment Im just trying to take it slow and go back to where her and I left off (if it's possible). I really did miss her but I'd hate to ruin something that I've missed for so long.

What Guys Said 1