Should I approach girls again or don't even bother?

Im 21 black male never had a girlfriend still a virgin and still feel lonely. Im on the fence on whether or not I should approach girls again. I work near a mall and at the mall there are always a lot of attractive girls there that I would like to approach but it doesn't necessarily have to be in a mall I just picked the mall cause I know that's the best place to go to find a lot of girls especially since its close to my job. I haven't approached any girls for a while and the reason why I stopped was because of constant rejections over and over again. I always feel like im not good enough or attractive enough to get a girl and when I approach them I do feel very nervous and I get shy sometimes too and usually I don't know what to say and I get too afraid that I may say the wrong thing and she will get turned off by it. It feels like when im trying to get a girls to like me back its like pulling teeth especially talking to girls who I find the most attractive. Im not sure if I want to go through this again cause I feel like if I approach girls again I will go back to getting my feelings hurt again constantly and its just not worth it. Recently I found out someone I know who also couldn't get women he ended up finally getting a girl and it made me feel worse cause I felt like he was better than me and there isn't any hope that I will get a girl. The reason I may sound so pessimistic is because I have always had bad luck with girls. I've never gotten a yes and its miserable to always get rejected constantly over and over again. When I approach girls I don't come off too strong cause im too nervous to do that anyway. Its hard for me to even say hi to a girl most of the time that's how bad it is for me. Should I keep trying or just give up in hopes that a girl will come when I least expect it which I doubt


Most Helpful Girl

  • well, i mean, how bad do you really want a girl? i wouldn't give up if i were you. but you may have some things to work on. confidence is key when it comes to us girls. we are pretty heartless sometimes (when it comes to rejection) but i think it's easiest to be that way towards timid and nervous men. we are all about ourselves at first... we like to be swept off our feet and most of us dont want to feel like the dominant ones in a relationship so a shy and nervous guy is literally an immediate turnoff. my suggestion to you is to work on building some confidence. i don't know if this works for guys too but i used to be on the same boat, timid and nervous and shy, but i started trying really hard to see good things in myself, i started dressing nicer, started to not compare myself to others, and this sounds so ridiculous but it worked: i hold my chin up when I walk in public. it gives me confidence, when i literally hold my head up high. girls are more attracted to a confident man than one who hides from girls. they don't want to do the work in initiating a relationship. in all honesty we expect way too much out of men but you'll never please a girl or get a girl if you hide from her and from yourself. don't be shy. no matter what you tell yourself, you're better and there IS a girl out there for you who will love everything about you. once you stop comparing your luck with girls to other men's, you'll realize that the girls who dont even do so much as give you one little chance are missing out. tell yourself that. i tell myself that. :) it really works. in the meantime, it never hurts to try making friends first. establish some strong friendships with lots of girls if you're comfortable with that because girls aren't so picky with their friends, and that way they can get to know you without feeling like they have to date you. if they see you for who you truly are in a friend perspective, there's no doubt that feelings could easily be developed. just don't give up. no girl will ever come prancing to you when you least expect it, and if they do, they're probably very desperate and that's not the girl you want. good luck, and sorry this was such a stinkin long opinion.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe focus on your social standing. Stop chasing girls. Make friends. Go to parties, hang out with mixed gender groups. Meet the friends of your friends, and their friends. Try to become a social butterfly, fill up the calendar with events and invitations. Throw your own party.

    • that's the problem I barely have any friends at all and I don't go to parties but I would like to

    • Show All
    • @Dog19 Who me? Sorry, I tend to not check my messages so often and I might have missed a notification. It wasn't intentional if so -- could you point me to what I missed?

    • Oh sorry, I was talking to the asker

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • How do you approach do you seem nervous? Or say something stupid?

    • no I don't say anything stupid I usually say something like "hi my name is such and such and I think you look very nice" and then I try to hold the conversation but it never leads nowhere

    • hmmm, you have to know which kind of girls to approach to minimize the rejection. Like me personally i feel bad when rejecting someone so i rarely do it unless their just plain rude

What Guys Said 1