Tips to stop being so anxious when I'm away from home?

I have struggled for a few years now with depression and now anxiety in the last two years, I already see a counselor but I'm not on medication as of yet for either.

I've just recently started dating again after the break up of my three and a half year relationship where I got quite comfortable and use to being alone and staying at home by myself because he never wanted to see me, didn't have time to see me or put work before me (picking up extra shifts and cancelling our plans) the relationship was emotionally and physically abusive.

My new boyfriend is becoming frustrated at how I only stay over his place for one night, where as he will stay at mine for usually three, I just mentally cannot be away from my home for more then one night I start to get panicky, stressed, frustrated and just generally have a feeling of needing and wanting to go home so bad. It's hard to put into words how I feel. I just don't like it, i'd rather be at home. Even when I am out running errands or doing grocery shopping after about 2 hours I've had enough and just want to go home.

I should add that my boyfriend lives with two other guys in a share house kind of deal, I don't really feel uncomfortable with that aspect but I do have some OCD issues and their bathroom really gets me some times, I don't know if I'd feel comfortable showering in their shower.. lol. I also own a cat that when I got I never had the intention of leaving him for my mother (I still live at home) to look after while I'm away every week for nights on end as she never wanted me to get the cat in the first place so I feel guilt as well as anxiety while being away for long periods of time.

Does anyone have any tips to help with anxiety? Should I try and get my boyfriend to be more understanding? He knew coming into the relationship that I had "issues"


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Try yoga and meditation😃

    • I've wanted to try yoga for awhile now! I do go out every night and walk/run for half an hour, I think I'll add yoga into my day too :) thanks.

    • Welcome madam😃 . I sent you a message please see it 😃

    • Okay, sure :)

What Girls Said 1

  • Talk to him. I'm anxious like that too, and I was going to suggest you go out one day and the next day stay out an hour longer, that you work on being away for increasingly longer periods. But, after reading, I wouldn't want to stay with your boyfriend either. If he lived alone that would be one thing, but three guys? You're not wrong to be uncomfortable with them and leery about the bathroom.

    • I'm not really sure how to talk to him, I start out feeling guilty and apologize profusely because I'd be frustrated too if I dated me, but then I get annoyed because I didn't ask to be like this and I'm trying to work on myself and so my messages become short and snippy. I go out of a night (mainly to avoid people completely) to do some exercise because I like that sense of being alone and exercising but I definitely should do as you suggested, that when I do go out I'll try and stay out for three hours and so on, it's hard not to feel anxious though.

      I think it's the fact that if I have to be away from my home and my bathroom I expect cleanliness so that I feel comfortable, and I'm not trying to stereotype males here but, the ones I have known aren't all that clean..

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    • Glad to hear you're getting help and working on it. You'll get through it. Best wishes!

    • Thank you, and thank you for your help, I appreciate it!