Why does she take so long to respond?

When I'm with my girlfriend she responds to other guys and her friends in an instant but then when I text her or something she will take as much time as she wants like sometimes it'll take up to an hour for her to answer one of mine and sometimes she'll answer other guys texts before mine [me and my friend did an experiment] I want to confront her about it but I don't know how to do it without sounding kinda like a way to overprotective boyfriend so if you can tell me how to confront her about it, if I should even confront her about it or if you have an idea to why she does this to me a reply would be awesome thanks.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Ok in my opinion its one of two things: she knows she has you already and doesn't feel the need to write back immediately or because she is probably 14 as well and may think that the longer she waits to text you back the more you'll like her. It's a game girls play sometimes to keep a man interested. Dumb I know but hey it's working aint' it ;)

  • Just ask her if she's still interested and then tell her why you feel like she's not, because she doesn't respond to you.

    But I have to be honest, I didn't always respond to my ex before I did everyone else. Just depends on my mood.


What Guys Said 1

  • First time I've witnessed a guy concerned about a girl's texting habits in this way.

    That said, it sounds like she's taking your interest for granted. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you, but she might think that since she already has you, it's not a priority to give you an immediate response quite as much as someone she doesn't know quite as well.

    If that's the case, it doesn't actually help so much to confront her about this. It actually kind of helps to do the opposite and perhaps stop texting her quite as much, kind of get a busy schedule of your own that makes you not always available and independent.

    That'll help you work your way back up to her priority list where she might feel more like she needs to give you more immediate responses to keep you interested in her.

    • People generally value things they can't take for granted. For example, if you have a habit of buying a girl presents on a weekly basis, that actually devalues the process of getting her a gift. If you continue that habit, it's not going to have such a positive effect, and if you cease that habit, it's going to have a very negative effect where the girl might think you no longer love her.

      Meanwhile if you almost never get a girl a gift and then surprise her out of the blue with one just a few times a year, that's going to have a much more positive effect. She might think you're the sweetest boyfriend in the world during those times, while the girl who gets a gift on a weekly basis might think her boyfriend is boring and predictable, taking his gifts for granted.

      It sounds like it'd help for you to work on balancing things out in this respect.

    • Show All
    • For example, if you find yourself eagerly awaiting her text responses all the time, probably the first thing to work on is to find things to do without her that will keep you busy during that time. Have your own life to live that's separate from hers, and then you two will value each other's time more.

    • One last thing since you're quite young. Confrontations usually don't have a good effect on relationships. They can often escalate into arguments and a feeling that the other person is an authority figure, not a partner. If you want to talk about delicate subjects with her, often best to hold her and cuddle a bit, maybe even make it playful and humorous. It'll help you to raise mutual understanding without a big risk of having a fight over something.