Sometimes my boyfriend takes a day (or two) to respond to my texts, and sometimes he responds right away... why?

He's told me he's not a texter. He also works crazy hours during the week, and that's usually when the communications wanes a bit... but how hard is it to send a text, haha. Are there girls out there who have experienced this, or guys who know they're guilty of this? Help me understand!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm guilty of this big time.

    I work in a software engineering field where the industry is still competing when it comes to new techniques with new algorithms and data structures being published all the time.

    My brain is often completely absorbed when I'm in that zone where I'm trying to innovate a new way of doing things that beats the rest, working things out on the whiteboard, verifying the math, building simulations that demonstrate a proof of concept. It doesn't even shut off when I'm going to sleep.

    I find, during those times, that I might not text back for a week. The entire rest of the world just tends to slip my mind in those cases where I feel like I need so much brainpower that my brain is operating at 110% capacity.

    • I also am generally unaware of the time and day during those periods, often not knowing what month it is even.

    • Yes, I think this happens for my boyfriend too. He tells me that when's he on a live project, hours just seem to melt away.

    • It's a little bit difficult in those cases when our brains are so overwhelmed to even remember something as quick as sending back a text.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've experienced it all. Some guys are super into texting, want to talk all the time. Whereas there are other guys who could care less about texting. He's already told you that he's not a texter.

    It's also probably in part due to his hectic schedule. The only way to fix this is to talk to him about it. I would set down some ground rules. Let him know what kind of communication would would like and need from him. Hopefully he can understand that and is able to do that. But if not, maybe you need to compromise. Is he spending time with you? Do you feel like a priority in his life?

    Is the need for texting simply just a need to communicate or is there something more that you require from him?

    Usually when I am with a non-texting dude, I usually try to keep busy. Fill my life with activities. It gives me something to talk to them about when I do end up getting ahold of them.

    • You bring up a good point. I think the issue is that because of his work schedule, I don't get to see him as much as I'd like. And I guess texting helps remind me he's still thinking of me and connects me to him when I can't see him in person :/

    • I would tell him what you just told me. I think he needs to understand why it is important to you. It's not so much that you are just typing to each other. It's your need to feel connected to him and that he is thinking of you. Which I think is totally valid, it's important to feel connected to your partner. Hopefully he understands!

    • Thank you ^.^

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You've listed two very good reasons why. Deal with it or breakup over it because it won't change

  • That's a pet peeve of mine
    If I'm texted my ass texts back
    I unless I'm driving, which I'll pull over
    Or I'm doing something that honesty needs my attention
    Like a date or soemthing

  • have you tried calling...


What Girls Said 2

  • I am an awful texter. Sometimes I look at someone's text and don't know what I want to say so I put it away for larger. Then I just completely forget about it and feel so bad.

    • ^Yes. This is helpful. Now that I think about it, I've seen him look at texts from people and completely forget to respond.

  • What kind of boyfriend is that? I would wonder how interested in me this guy really is and if he may have another woman he's paying attention to when you're not around...

    There are men who are first responders and work 12 hrs on/12 hrs off and have extremely intense busy schedules and their wives/girlfriends manage to hear from them daily. If this guy takes 1-2 days to respond to your texts and doesn't seem eager to hear from you realistically is he even into you like that? Are you the side chick?

    • He's interested in me and I'm not side chick :)