I have to unload 6 years of baggage on here, and I need help... I have been struggling with dating for 2 years

6 years ago... when I was 16 years old I met a girl at an amusement park and out of nowhere I asked her out and it worked. I just got broken up by my previous ex and met this girl that I fell in love with for 4 years. we did everything together since we realized we lived 2 miles from eachother. it took a lot of time to think about it but at the 3rd year of dating her I made a promise to propose to her in 2009 since I would have been graduated from college by then. but the 3rd and a half year things changed when she went to penn state. she began to get a lot of friends and changing herself to do things with her friends like get extremely drunk to smoking pot while someone is driving and other stuff. I began to notice she was changing and questioned it since it was something new to me. our 4th year anniversary came and it wasn't as happy as the last 3 since we didn't spend the day together as we hoped then she began to change for the worse from when her cat bit me, the ER saved me from getting a blood infection that I though was swelling and she didn't want to visit me, but infact was worried about her cat being put to sleep. then her friends asked for more parties and would drink without telling me, then began asking me about her needing "space" at that time she and I talked and we continued on. on thanksgiving she was very distant with me, then a week later on 12/4/2007 she hands me a note in her dorm room and said "i fell out of love with you", when really she wanted to break up. she broke up with me cause I find out through yahoo answers emailing me link and was devastated. during new years, I tried to invite her to my house and she was worried about my familys thoughts but she came but drank like a fish of alcohol. totally trashed, she didn't want to tell me the truth when she was drunk but told my mom the letter she wrote was her guidence couselor telling her what to write. time passed and her parents were concerned about thier daughter and they asked me why so I went over there. so I told them thier daughter was drinking and smoking, cheated on me. her mom asked me why is this her behaivor and only I knew the possibility because of something happening to her when she was little. my ex got mad at me and claimed she wanted to try to work things out but I knew she wasn't trying hard enough because I was doing practically everything. now we approach feb 2008 and she begins to tell me she doesn't want valentines day with me because its an all singles night with the girls. I get so confused as to whether to keep trying or break it off and I go back and forth with her several times till I just end it completely on early 5/2008. it was something so hard on me because this was the girl I wanted to propose to and was thinking sooner but now it ended. I was at a community college at the time to transfer to a state university and had to drop all my classes that

spring semester. as summer came... it was very lonely and I find that may she found someone new where she writes how happy she is. I went to outpatient therapy that summer for 2 weeks before I start school in a university. it helped alot. when I went
to the state university, I became my social self again but was hard since the 5th annversary was up but I tried to lay low and make friends. I talked to guys and girls but the guys were the only nice ones. when I talked to the girls, they all called me
stalker or creeper. I didn't understand why they were like that till I find every wall at the university about rape and dating. for an entire year, not only did I resurrect my hurt from my ex but also tramatized to talk to women because of the label.
this label carried on not only from select few people that I was friends with, but also spread the word through Facebook to people I didn't know and had problems with police accusing me. out of an entire year from 8/08-12/09 I got only 4 credits done.
3 outpatient therapies, 1 inpatient. and I realize I'm done with everything. as much as I try to change for these people, its just not worth trying to go to this university if this is the treatment I get for trying to be friends. I moved to FL, 1000miles
away... and come to a community college to see if that may help but it doesnt. its very ghetto and I find out financial aid won't pay for some classes because I need to take them at a state university so I'm taking 1 class right now and have 10 credits
left to get my AA. but I still want to go to the university to get my dual major bachelors. I'm going to a florida university but still alone like I have been for 2 years and have tried very hard to socialize and it backfires everytime. I try to date and
get rejected all the time! while I find out my ex got engaged with that guy since 5/2008 and she said to me she's happy,christian again and even said god led her to cheat on me to find god and lead her to the man she's ment to be with. HOW F-EDUP IS that.
i want to find someone again. I want to have friends again but I am so tramatized with this "creeper/stalker" word. alittle bit of being cheated on but that's reality I'm learning. how do I start to learn to date again and where do I begin. I'm so lost
by the way... just wanted to clarify that I'm a nice guy with decent looks and a romantic but honestly only few I was interested in. I tried to be friends socially with these people and turned out bad with the creeper word everywhere I went.



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  • please remove this as I'm disappointed in the lack of interest this topic has gotten through this site

  • Wow that's messed up hope you feel beter now...

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