Should I be upset my friend didn't tell me the guy I've been hanging out with has a girlfriend?

She never mentioned it to me before and all the sudden she tells me after I've slept with him for three months. I don't hang out with guys that have girlfriends so this made me feel awful. I haven't spoken to either of them since but he doesn't know that I know. We made plans to see each other again and I m just not showing up. Why wouldn't she tell me? Should I confront them both? I really don't want to involve myself in drama right now.
Really super bummed right now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah that's not cool of her. You can decide to confront her or not, but I would not talk to the dude again. She is your friend so I would at least say something or talk to her about it and decide what to do from there

    • What I don't understand is that if he had a girlfriend why make plans with me?

    • Honestly I have no idea either my dear because I do not have the mindset to ever do something like that to any girlfriend of mine as it is despicable to me 😔 I wish I had a good answer for you, but alas I do not

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd be very upset if my friend didn't tell me that. It's very deceitful. My friends would know in the end I'd be the one getting getting hurt due to his deceit and lies , so I'd be questioning my friends motives for not telling me. 3 months is a long time to hold back from telling you that.

    If it was my friend in this situation I'd tell her as soon as I discovered the truth about him. I'd feel I'd betrayed her if I kept that from her. Plus, I'd be helping to set her up for heartbreak by withholding it for so long. Its really devious


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm sorry, this sounds like a terrible situation. I would be really hurt and frustrated with both of them. It sounds like the guy clearly lied to you and your friend omitted the truth.
    I would be clear with the guy, that you know the truth and will not be a side women. There might be more to the story so it's better get the truth than come up with your own theories.
    Let your friend know that she betrayed your trust. Think about what she would have to do to earn your trust back, if you are still willing to have her in your life. Personally I would want to know why she chose to hold back vital info.

    • I will never trust her again. i think I'll have to say something to one of them at least.

    • Writing a letter or email might be a way of confronting one or both of them. It might be a little less anxiety provoking than trying a face to face. The betrayal hurts, no need to make getting answers more stressful than it need be. I hope you can get come closure and move on from these jerks. I'm afraid that if you don't contact either again it might be harder for you to get past this.

      Know that this is not your fault ( I know despite logic we have a tendency to blame ourselves). There is no reason you should have been suspicious of him. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

  • I feel that it is odd that she's supposed to be your friend and didn't tell you if she knew. I think you should ask her why- and confront him.

    • I'm such a chicken. I'm so uncomfortable with the situation as it is and I don't want the drama but I think I deserve the truth. I need to really stop being scared and I don't even know I'm I'm scared?

    • You can just approach it calmy, and tell her that he has a girlfriend and ask her if she knew. At the end of the day you can't trust a friend who isn't honest with you and as for him, its a good thing you didn't end up dating him he'd be living a double life.

  • Confront them both

  • Did you ever ask if he were single?

    • I never asked because I assumed she would tell me. She had plenty of opportunities to do so. Guys lie about that stuff anyway.

    • But did you ask him. Its one thing if he lied. Yes it's odd behavior from her side as well

    • I didn't ask him because he wasn't acting like he was in a relationship but I just asked him now. We'll see what he says, if anything. If he never answers I will assume it's true.