I have never had a boyfriend? What am I doing wrong?

Sooo I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend and now I'm wondering what's wrong with me? I asked a 'how do I look' question earlier on this site. All girls said I was beautiful and most guys said gorgeous/pretty/very cute etc. A lot did also say I look friendly.

I know a lot of people are gonna say that Im probably too shy. Well, I'm a little shy but not so much that I can't have a normal conversation or anything. Im pretty social. Also have a lot of friends.

So I don't know what Im doing wrong? Lately I feel so sad about it 😞

What is the best place to meet guys? At bars/clubs?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Change your view and purpose a bit. Go out and about and be open to meeting and dating guys. That will make you look more approachable.. I assume you are not being approached. So... you could initiate conversations with guys... every discussion is a step towards being more sociable and available.

    Don't become desperate or needy because you haven't had a boyfriend yet, that will either turn guys away or open you up to being taken advantage of. you still need to filter guys out to the qualities you are looking for.

    The hardest part of anything is getting started. Once you get started and have a boyfriend, then it will be easier to find others as it isn't such a mystery. It is never "easy". some people have many BF's and find them easily (probably because they cast a strong sexual presence) and others few, but are selective. there is nothing wrong with either, just what works for you.

    What do you think about the idea of hiring a guy to be your boyfriend? I just thought of that off top of my head as a silly idea. that is... you are in control that way until you fire him... lol. I am serious, its a creative idea to get some experience. sounds desperate, but what if there were guys for hire that would teach you and train you, for a small fee or just food?

    • No way I am not that desperate haha
      But thanks for your answer!

    • Darn! I thought I had a new profession and purpose in life for a moment:)
      It would be a fun job!

Most Helpful Girl

  • you are doing nothing wrong sweetie :)
    you only did not met your love yet. sooner or later you will find your prince charming
    :) good luck


What Guys Said 6

  • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-shrug(d).gif

    What do you actively try to do to obtain one?
    Do you approach guys yourself?
    Do flirt and have body language for guys to approach you?
    Are you actually interesting to talk to?
    Do you have any interesting hobbies?
    Do you have any goals or ambitions?

    From many people who are worried about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend, it turns they are simply not doing enough to make themselves attractive.

    • Do you approach guys yourself? No
      Do flirt and have body language for guys to approach you? I don't know lol
      Are you actually interesting to talk to? yep
      Do you have any interesting hobbies? yep
      Do you have any goals or ambitions? yep

    • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-aha(d).gif

      "Do you approach guys yourself? No
      Do [you] flirt and have body language for guys to approach you? I don't know lol"

      Your problem lies there. Until (at least) one of those answer to the questions become a "yep," you will continue to be in this situation.

  • Maybe try broadening and expanding your social group, meeting the friends of your friends and so on. Also try to see if you can make yourself more approachable to the opposite sex somehow.

    • Maybe try some focus on sex appeal? If you do come off as super friendly and approachable, maybe some level of sexiness to elevate things might help.

    • Show All
    • 5'11 but where I live people are generally taller so also more tall guys ( ;

    • Oh, that's quite tall. If the guys are taller, maybe no problem. Sometimes really tall girls might have a hard time since shorter guys might be intimidated a bit by the prospect of asking a girl out while looking upwards. :-D

      It might just help to try to put yourself out there more, and pay close attention to what qualities in girls seem to attract guys. It's not always just beauty but all kinds of mannerisms that make guys think the woman is interested and approachable. You can also do some approaching yourself from time to time.

  • Just not the right guy has showed up in your life yet. You seem to be more like me and not just hook up with people for fun. nothing personal so don't think it's you causing the problem.

  • Huh i didn't see your "how do i look" question however you need to ask yourself are you approachable? When a guy looks at you and you see him how do you respond? Guys will try to judge a womans interest prior to initiating contact as to avoid constant rejection. So think about what i'v said and let me know

    • Yea I posted that a few days ago.
      But a lot of people said I look friendly so I gueas Im approachable?

    • Show All
    • Haha yes thats true
      Thanks xx

    • pleasure I hope i was able to help

  • I'll be your boyfriend.

  • could be a lot of reason


What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe you need to take some initiative and flirt with and/or ask out the people that you're interested in. Nothing will ever fall into your lap. You need to get out there and go after it.

  • at 21 never had a boyfriend? What are you doing with your life? Are you also still a virgin?