Should I talk to my best friend about my feelings for her?

My best friend and I are very very close to each other. We've been best friends for 5 years and have a very strong and deep emotional connection, we've been there for each other when we had to go through hell and back. We often talk about how we think each other would be the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, and we always get mistaken for a couple when we hang out. We have a lot of physical contact for best friends too, handholding, snuggling, constant hugs, resting head on shoulders, etc. And we also call each other things like love, hun, darling, and then cute nicknames. I never really considered dating her in the past but something has seriously changed, now I really really want her to be mine. I always have loved her and now I just find it hard to hold back.

But I'm confused as to what I should do. I want to date her, and we actually just talked a 'what if we dated' thing and she said she totally thought it would work and that we would handle it really well. I just want to have an honest conversation with her admitting that I do have feelings for her, but not put pressure for a relationship. I'd be perfectly fine just keeping things the way they are but I just gotta know if she would consider something more.

... Should I try... or...
girls how would you feel if your best friend admitted he liked you?


Most Helpful Girl

  • This kind of thing happens all the time. It’s practically a right of passage for a young man. But it certainly is natural for a boy to fall in love with his best friend.

    If a man finds his female friend attractive, he will always be curious about taking it to the next level. It just makes sense; you care for her, you love being with her and you’re attracted to her.

    I must break some news. There is no way you can get over someone when you still have hope that they might come around. So, I suggest that you enlighten her with your feelings and face the results, whatever they might be.

    Let me settle your stomach by letting you know that you are not risking everything. In fact, my best friend made a move on me once and while it was extremely awkward for about two weeks, once the boundaries of our friendship were re-established it went right back to normal. Today we are closer than ever.

    Rather than go in for an uninvited kiss, try talking to her about your feelings. First establish that you have no expectations of her to reciprocate your feelings. With no pressure over her head she is more likely to listen to you with an open heart.

    Wishing you the best of luck.

    • Thank you so much for such a kind, informative, and well thought out response! I totally agree that I'm never going to get over her until I know for sure that she won't want a relationship.

      I had already planned on letting her know that whatever she decides I'm okay with, so that I give her almost no pressure. The only wrench is that we both kinda know we're perfect for each other. Even her parents think we should date (and hope we get married), most of our friends think we're into each other. I just don't think there will ever be someone who gets me like she does. I just want it so bad, and I think this could really be amazing for both of us. I just am between telling her, and letting things play out hoping she falls for me. Please tell me you have another perfect response lol

    • Well your probably want to play it out a bit but treat her more like a girl that you want to date. Tell her that she has a great personality, lovely smile, she is beautiful. Be descriptive like say that she looks exceedingly beautiful with the sun dancing off of her... name something that you see beautiful on her in that moment. Like I said turn on the charm do what ever gentlemanly thing comes to mind. Almost nothing is to cheesy. You and her are touching then try holding her hand. Touch her more like a date than a friend. No ass grabbing or boob touching. When you do touch her linger there for a few seconds more than normal. She will notice. Depending on how close you two are and how much you two see each other. She will fairly quickly notice and comment on it. Pick a date that you have until for her to ask. If she asks them you tell her you like her and want to try going on a date with her. After ask to see her hand kiss the back of it. Tell her what you wanted to say and then giv

    • Give her time to think about it. Tell her you will see her soon and as you walk away after a few steps turn around smile and wink at her. If she does not inquire in time then bring it up when you two are just hanging out and having fun.

What Girls Said 1

  • You should admit your feelings for her, definitely. Maybe she's unsure of your feelings and afraid to talk about it. I would be with my best guy friend if he told me that, I like him and be behave as a couple as well and are very intimate just as you are, and if not even more but I'm afraid to ask him because we are "brother and sister" but let me tell you, brother and sister don't lie together in bed and kiss each other's neck... So, go for it, you have nothing to lose!


What Guys Said 4

  • DUDE you have to tell her! Your so lucky mate that you two agree that it might work out. Once a freind has feelings for the other the pain of being love sick will only eat away at you until you take the chance and let her know. I sadly went through that with my close female freind last year. I honestly wish that I had talked to her about it first before I asked her out. Honestly I thought that she knew that I liked her. I barely went a day without my being teased or asked when we were going out. She felt betrayed by my actions and it took a while but were back to being freinds.
    The great news is that for you, your not in her freind only zone. She considers you a potential date. You two already have the chemistry and the behaviors for being a couple there. You two just have to get together. You two actually sound like my freind Jake and his girlfreind. They were very close freinds and I joked about them getting together. Go for it your both 17 if it does not work out you two will be back to best buds in no time at all. When you tell her don't pressure her make sure that she knows that those are your feelings and that it is fine if she does not feel that way about you. Also make sure she knows that it will be fine if she only wants to be good freinds. Good luck mate and God bless you two.

    • Thank you so much, this was very helpful. Your optimistic words make me happy in a very difficult time. I'm so sorry to hear what happened between you and your friend, unfortunately these things are some of the hardest to deal with, though it's wonderful to hear that you're back to being friends with her again :)

  • I'd say it would be risky to ask a best friend out so if you want to take the risk you can knowing that things could get awkward but with your specific story-she seems interested in you too and both of you have talked about those certain things like dating and she was serious with you that you would be a great partner of hers. Therefore, I would say go for it!!! Now how you do that, that's another question to be asked
    (You want my opinion on that too just ask and I'd be more than happy to help)

    • I definitely can imagine the risk, and I feel like it's worth it... and I do want your advice on how to ask her!

      I automatically assume this HAS to be done in person. There's no excuses for it not to be. (right?) Also I need to make sure the emphasize that whatever she wants I'm perfectly fine with (because I am). Can you suggest anything that might make it smoother?

    • Yeah probably better in person cause things won't get confusing since text can be hard to read sometimes and understand ones tone of voice and all that. It's also easier since you close friends with her anyways.
      One way could be-saying something like "hey I got the perfect thing planned for the two of us." As if it's a regular hang out for the two of you. She asks why u say it's a secret you will find out
      Then take her out on a date but treat it like a very serious one like going out on a first date to the movies and the eating some food for dinner or something. You got to be like "it's our first date like we have always talked about! I thought it would be great for both of us together🤗!" She acts weird then you can do two things really which is why this is not too scary to do- either make it seem like you were joking the whole time and were just trying to have fun

    • Srry ran out of space

      Or you can be like "honestly, I know we have been close friends for years but I have a little crush on you deep inside so I wanted to see what you think cause you are just too beautiful to let slip by"

  • Don't tell her anything. In stead show her. Ask her out, spend time just the two of you, do all the flirty stuff you'd do with an actual girlfriend. Don't tell her anything until you see she's also having feelings for you and can't act "just friendly". Aaand then you give her the best kiss you can come up with. No words needed. Trust me.

    • lol oh my gosh if only!
      I mean we do spend time together (the 2 of us only) alllll the time. Her family loves me (and wants us to get married) and I've been trying to treat her as a girlfriend but I think she'd be too scared to tell me.

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    • Wait, if you're already doing what I told you to technically you two are pretty much together. You're both too big chickens to admit it. :D If so then tell her something like "You do realize we're practically dating?" or something like that. If she reacts positively you'll have your answer.

    • My friend you're very optimistic, and much more daring then I am! I've considered saying something like that, but now I'll definitely reconsider it again. Thank you so much for your help!

  • Ya dude why not.. sometimes you have to take a risk to move in the right direction