How open should I be with girls about my personal life?

Alright so here is a very embarrassing question (so much so that I'll ask anonymously). This will probably be kind of a long one by the way. I'm 26M and I've never dated. A lot of people in my life find this rather confusing as I'm by all accounts friendly, likeable, funny, etc. Additionally, I've been described countless times as "cute" and "handsome" even though I don't really see it. What people aren't aware of is the fact that my personal life has been in shambles for quite some time. Sure, I do have career ambitions. Specifically, I want to become a biological researcher (at say a hospital for example) and am finishing up my master's in biology. However, pretty much everything else has fallen apart. Largely, this is because of anxiety that I have suffered from since my late teen years. Things got particularly bad several years ago when my best friend was shipped off in the army. At that point, I pretty much went over the edge, became a recluse, and became hooked on Xanax (which was prescribed to me for the anxiety). At this point though, I've quit the Xanax, and have gotten over the bulk of the anxiety. I'm thinking of renewing my gym membership and possibly in the future taking dance classes to meet girls. All my rambling aside, when I get around to dating one of these days, how should I address the topic of my personal life and past? I hate having to be so secretive and guarded about my personal life. The great irony is that it makes it very hard for people to get close to me. At the same time, I'm deathly afraid of the judgement (especially from girls). I feel that if girls knew the truth, they would never date me. On that note, do you think girls will be generally accepting of me despite my past issues?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's best to be direct. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. I know it's easy to blame yourself, but it's a sickness, and you overcame it. If anything, you should be proud. I also suffer from anxiety, but I'm much better now than I used to be, and have no problem telling people about my past because I realized anyone who judges me for it doesn't deserve to be my friend. It might be hard, but I hope you are able to apply this to your life and that it helps you.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Some girls will accept you and some won't. If she doesn't then maybe you just don't need someone like that in your life anyway. And like @SunDevil11 mentioned not all at once. See where it goes and then open up a bit more.


What Guys Said 1

  • They should accept you and if they do not then you do not need that person around. I would not share all of it right away, but if things get serious between a girl and yourself I would share it when you feel comfortable with her and trust her